lornam 3 / 16 3 Jan 2, 2013 #1Hey, I've got a scholarship application due pretty soon and would appreciate any help you guys could offer. Thanks for taking the time to critique my essays and feel free to critique all you want - I promise I won't get offended.Prompt: McDermott Scholars receive a membership to the Dallas Museum of Art for their first year, and tickets to the Dallas Symphony Orchestra and Dallas Opera throughout their four years in the Program. Why?Spit flies onto the floor. Finished practicing, I disassemble my flute and swab it like I have every day for the past six years. The swab comes out of the flute saturated with spit, but these days I barely wince. People often ask me why I continue to play flute; I don't plan on majoring in music, and there is little glory to be found in the daily routine of practicing. Like every other instrumentalist, I look forward to the chance to escape reality and the sense of accomplishment achieved upon mastering a piece. However, I find that I also benefit from a different mindset. When I'm playing, I don't think; I feel. Similarly, listening to music or looking at art challenges me to think differently. I pay greater attention to visual and auditory cues and think more abstractly than I normally do. This is an experience that nothing in the classroom can hope to imitate. You can learn about art and music, but until you experience it, you can't truly understand and benefit from it.Characters: 987/1000
katev 18 / 120 24 Jan 2, 2013 #2What an odd prompt...Eeek... the spit is a little too graphic of an image to start out with in my opinion... It's not completely relevant to where you're going with your essay.With your extra characters, maybe add something about how continuing to be exposed in the arts is valuable in college. How it could supplement your education or something
OP lornam 3 / 16 3 Jan 2, 2013 #3Yeah, I was wondering about the introduction, but I didn't want my essay to just be another one of those essays. Thanks!
