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Focus, responsibility, attitude - leadership and influence (Chevening)


dhienie 1 / -  
Sep 23, 2020   #1

'lidership' essay for Chevening



I believe the leaders are not born, but it made through a process. Time by time, leadership skills will grow and evolve. When I studied nutrition at Brawijaya University, my friends and I tried to share our knowledge with people around us with nutrition programs like nutrition consultation to schools, counseling to geriatric people at the primary health center, and home visits to patients who had nutrition problem. Visiting patient's houses homes in Malang presented a challenge for us because unlike in Jakarta where patient's houses are usually in a surrounding area, but in remote areas such as in the forest. Before we went there, we had prepared everything that supported the event like transportation and logistic.

Development of the leadership skills will in line with experience. The leadership skills will show when we had responsibilities. When I was a chief of nutrition in the hospital of Tanjung Priok, I managing the nutrition division both internally and externally. In internal, I built a good communication both, nutritionist and chef, as a team. When we had a problem, we would try to discuss, analyze the source of the problem, and fixed it without blaming it. In external, I managing communication with other professionals in the hospital that have interaction with my division especially doctors as a leader of the team for the patient. During the pandemic, for some patients who confirms suspect COVID-19, we can not meet directly cause the clinical pathway, I will discuss with the doctor and another team to give any advice to make a good decision for the patient's diet.

Communication skills also part of leadership skills. it skill showed someone who followed the suggestion. I also work as a freelance auditor at the Institute of Food Drugs and Cosmetics by Council of Ulama Indonesia (LPPOM MUI) region of DKI Jakarta. In there, I reporting the result of the audit, giving suggestions, and giving education to the company to pass the audit and develop their company. Furthermore, I keep communicating both the company and another auditor. As a result, everyone can be a future leader by improved leadership skills like focus to the purpose, brave to take responsibilities, ability to persuade, and good communication.

One more useless thread title= ban
Sep 23, 2020   #2
@dhienie
You had the ideas but the organization and explaination were your challenges. Please check your spellings and grammar well. Also many words were written repeatedly eg nutrition. I think you should learn the synonyms of certain words so you don't have to repeat them in your essay
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,159 3636  
Sep 24, 2020   #3
You are not portraying yourself as an effective leader in any case within this presentation. The first problem, is that you always say "we" in reference to the activities undertaken. There is no "we" in leadership. There can only be one head leader. There is no clarity as to your position of leadership in any discussion. You are always portrayed as a mere participant who did not really have to deal with major problems or conflicts within your workplace.

Your undergraduate depiction of group participation does not qualify as a leadership role. You only showed evidence of your community service participation, which should never be mistaken for a leadership undertaking. You did not lead a group, develop any solution that could address a problem, or need to get the cooperation of all the group members to assist you with your plan of action. This is the error that exists throughout your presentations. As the Chief of Nutrition at the hospital you should have been able to show leadership in times of need. Were there no problems that needed solving in terms of nutritional needs at the hospital that you had to address? How did you go about that? What departments were involved? Who did you have to speak to or cooperate with to develop solutions? Where is the leadership development? I did not read anything in reference to that.

Your last paragraph about being a freelance auditor is nothing close to leadership either. That is more of a subordinate role (reporting, suggesting, information dissemination, etc.) You are trying to justify your development as a leader but have not really given any evidence to prove an increasing leadership rank on your part. This is not a truthful nor acceptable essay. It has too many errors in the presentation that will prevent it from convincing the reviewer that you have actual leadership skills, abilities, and talents.
marlynoktavia 1 / 3  
Sep 29, 2020   #4
Hi! what a noble job you have. I think I understand your essay but it needs work on the grammars and vocabularies.

I have some notes you might want to work on as well:

1. In the first paragraph, you might want to explain how the experience "contribute" to you being a better leader and what you learn from the experience

2. In the second, you mentioned about holding a position in the hospital and your day to day activities. I think you should highlight just one or two exact example on how this position you have make a contribution while you're sitting on the position.

3. You might want to explore more as to why the communication skill you have contribute to you being a good leader, not just a communicator.

good luck!
kte3005 1 / 2  
Oct 12, 2020   #5
Hi,

Should definitely put less focus on teamwork and focus on what you were able to accomplish.
Probably throw in a third example if you can, you seem to be under the max word limit by 100 or so words. They gave the limit so we're able to expand as much as possible because this is how they get to know you as an individual and determine if you are short listed. If you don't have another example can probably do a small introduction stating what you will like to accomplish in your country/have an influence on.


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