This is very first scrach which I didnt care about grammar,just for ideas. I'd be happy to recieve your recommendations.
"If you are afraid of failures, you will never be successful"- author of these words one who has lived separated from his parents since the age of 15 and whose life was full of ups and downs- my father.
This philosophy of my father has been guiding me since childhood years and made me try myself in various activities: from sport to science. After 3 years of professional karate career when I was at secondary school, I had to choose my career path. I have to confess that choosing the field that I am willing to do for the rest of my life stemmed from just a sentence stuck to my mind from high school geography book: "Most of the developed countries are industrialized countries, which produce and export most of the commodities we are using today". As I read this immediately took a look the countries of origin of laptop, TV, air conditioner, and washing machine in our house. None of them had been produced in Azerbaijan and I asked my father "Why we do not use our own country's production? ". The answer inspired me for being what I am today.
In 2010 I started bachelor degree in Organization and Management of Industry at the Azerbaijan State University of Economics. Because the program was newly initiated, there were some drawbacks in terms of courses and practical implementation. Those factors were profound reason for me to look for additional resources. In fact, what I have learned out of university was more valuable than the formal education. A decent example of this is the internship at the Central Bank of Azerbaijan Republic (CBAR) which was my first professional experience. Taking into account of importance of financial knowledge for industry professionals, I attended at many training and conferences that were conducted by different departments of CBAR. Upon successful completion of the internship, I was not only awarded with the certificate, but also long-lasting relationships with specialists of the country's first financial institution.
Sadly, challenging period for me was when I lost my father in 2013. This had a devastating effect on my educational and professional life. However, that situation forced me to learn to stand on my own foots. Coming from our national mentality as I was only man in my family, I had to take all responsibilities on my shoulders. That means I had to take care of my family and to study simultaneously and that challenge allowed me to discover my capabilities as a family leader. As years went by, I got accustomed to that situation. However, my father's answer to that question was persecuting me. In the final year of my education I decided to apply for scholarship program which was provided by Ministry of Education. As a matter of fact, according to constitution of Azerbaijan Republic every graduating boy must serve at military service for a year. Taking into account this I planned to apply after military and got an offer at University of Aberdeen in the UK.
Military service was the next intriguing period for me as I was at border line face to face with enemy troops. Especially, last 3 months as a unit commander was the most difficult times for me after losing my father. Because we completed our service later than usual, due to rigorous shooting in the last months, I missed the deadline of scholarship.
After a few months from completing the military I was offered a job in Serbia, Belgrade as a technical specialist in financial company which was first experience after university years. Experience in a foreign country added additional value to my professional background, in particular as a team leader in last 2 months.
All in all, having a goal in my mind to prove my father's answer is not true anymore, master degree in USA will undoubtedly help me to contribute to Azerbaijan's industry. The answer was: "Because we do not have capable professionals, son".
Hi Mahammad! Welcome to the big family of EssayForum. We are here to help all members in providing constructive feedbacks toward their essay. There is one thing to be considered prior to giving my thoughts regarding your essay. Firstly, please write the prompt of the essay clearly. This will help us to tell you whether your essay addressed the prompt accurately or not.
In regards to your essay, here are several inputs from me:
"..author of these words is one who has.."
"..a sentence stuck toin my mind.."
"..I attended at many.."
"..I was the only man.."
"..constitution of Azerbaijan Republic, every.."
"..at border lineborderline face to face.."
I do hope that you will tell us the prompt of the personal statement so we can give you more comments. Wish you luck!
Thank you for appreciating our work here, Mahammad. It is easier for us to give you comments regarding the task response of your essay since you already write the prompt. In my view, putting more details about the connection between your future plan, including your career with the other aspects that you already mentioned, can help you improve this essay. If it is necessary, write it in detail. Do not forget to smooth the ideas in each paragraph as well. This is due to gain readers' impression about your essay.
