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Four cities erasmus scholarship - Letter of Motivaion

ChampionL 1 / -  
Jan 14, 2023   #1
Hi, Im Champion from Malaysia and would like to gain some feedback or improvement regarding if I addressed it well with my Letter of Motivation.

As English is not my native language, please correct me if there is any grammar error.
Please help me as it is due on JANUARY 16, which is 2 days left, but i still feeling uncertain about it overall structure or will it be too long?. Thank you in advance.

Requirement of the essay:
The motivation letter is perhaps the most critical part of your application. It should be no more than two (2) pages and should focus on both your academic interest in 4CITIES and what you hope to achieve by studying in 4CITIES. Why do you want to join 4CITIES? Why are you interested in urban studies? What specific issues or questions motivate you and how do you intend to address them? Additional relevant information can also be included, and you may refer to your CV to save space. Please refrain from describing the 4CITIES program unless doing so is relevant to your argument.

Motivation Letter
With much enthusiasm, I would like to enroll in the Erasmus Mundus Master Degree in Urban Studies, 4 Cities Programme to expand my passion for architecture development from the drawings on my tables to the four corners of the world.

When I was a kid, I used to imagine how I would utilize the space and live in the house of plan drawings in the marketing brochures. The vague idea of becoming an architect have not been that concrete until I heard about the possibility of architecture. "If we learn to build with local material, we have a future.", said Diébédo Francis Kéré's, an African Architect. A tiny flame lit up in my heart as I listened to his speech. Diébédo graduated from the Technical University of Berlin with financial aid from Germany. After his studies, he decided to return to his country although he could have a better living standard in Germany. He wanted to use his architectural knowledge to create hope and transform the lives of those in his culture. After listening to his speech, my perceptions of architecture shifted dramatically. Since then, he has been my role model, and I aim to inspire and contribute to society through sustainable architecture.

With the urge and intuition of my inner voice, I chose to pursue Architecture instead of accounting which was discovered as my strength later in order to step forward to my aspiration. Gratefully, Taylor's University awarded me a full scholarship for my academic excellence which lifted the financial burden from my family. However, sometimes expectations are so far away from reality. In the first two years of my architecture study, I was struggling extremely hard and I once doubt if I made the right choice to be someone who wanted to speak through design.

But my journey to be an architect took a twist when I was exposed to urban studies in my third-year studies, especially in the assignment where we need to do a comparative case study of sustainable living in Copenhagen and in Malaysia. In this assignment, we analyzed the urban, environmental, and social-economic issues, then come up with solutions to resolve these issues. My final architectural project was on designing a sustainable city lobby that creates a positive social impact and relevance to the city in habitant's needs. In the project, I have devised a method, incorporating the urban theories of Jan Gehl, to determine the community's precise needs of their living environment by investigating site challenges and human activity intensity. In recognition of the quality of my projects, I was awarded the Highest Honour in the class. These two assignments were about exploring the relationship between cities and globalization. With these experiences, I learned that urban issues should not be addressed and would not be resolved by only one single discipline due to their complicated nature. And this lesson has extended to work practice.

After completing my undergraduate studies at Taylor, I worked as an assistant architect at Architects Sdn Bhd. In order to expand my design perspective, I utilize my after-work hour to study business-related fields and take design competitions. I strongly believe my interdisciplinary studies will provide different insights into my design projects. However, I came across many difficulties in applying theoretical knowledge to hands-on projects especially when it comes to more complex and larger-scale projects. And it has always been a struggle for me on how should I start my design in every project. With my studies and work experiences, I am aware that a good architectural design can drive a place's economic and social change. The fundamentals (needs and functionality) of design lie in the complex relationship between the city and its inhabitants. Therefore, this is precisely the reason that 4 cities excite me. Its well-balanced course structure not only provides a solid theoretical foundation but also provides a platform to exchange insight and knowledge with students and instructors from different countries and professional backgrounds. With these intellectual stimulations in the program, I will be able to build a strong understanding of the urban issue in different aspects such as social needs and development, politics, economy, and governance. Undeniably, this knowledge is very useful in my designing process. 4 cities will widen my horizons as an architect and I will be able to learn to always "put myself in someone's shoes" (think from a different perspective) while designing for the users.

Outside my academic life, I am someone person who loves diversity and aims to be a high achiever. Therefore, I did my best to contribute to AIESEC which then led me to step up as Director of partnership development. As I always wanted to learn and practice the skills of promoting my projects for my future career, this position allows me to develop my presentation and prioritization skills. As AIESEC is an international youth-run organization that provides leadership development opportunities, we run several impactful social projects to achieve Sustainable Development Goals (SDG). By running these projects, I improved our project value proposition by expanding the organization's partnerships from 5 partners to 17 partners in three months. This achievement brought our team the Nomination for National Award. By taking this role, I developed my ability to take prudent decisions under pressure. I was named as Best Performing Member for my achievement and contribution to AIESEC.

While browsing through the 4 cities website, I have grown to admire the wide range of courses it offers to specialists in this field. 4 cities provide the opportunity to collaborate and learn from world-renowned faculty members and have different European countries with rich historical backgrounds and actual fieldwork as case studies. All these experiences will allow me to draw crucial knowledge and professional skills back to Malaysia and contribute to sustainable urban development. Thus, participating in 4 cities will definitely be a major stepping stone in achieving my long-term goal which is to become an architect like Diébédo. In return, I believe my deep interest in urban studies would make me a valuable asset to your partner Universities.

A quote that my father tells me often, in order to look forward to a positive future, is: 'Where there is a will, there is a way'. Thank you for considering my application and have a good day ahead!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,562 4442  
Jan 14, 2023   #2
There is no connection between the history, goals, and objectives of 4CITIES with the statement you have created. It is as if you have totally disregarded the questions you are required to respond to in lieu of a personal statement.

The academic history you have presented does not connect clearly with the focus of 4Cities. I have to wonder if you read the totality of the 4Cities website, specifically the 5W's section of the presentation that would have assisted you in developing the correct learning inspiration content for the motivational letter. I strongly advise that you review the aforementioned section of the site and then write a more relevant motivational letter after. I am afraid this doesn't respond to the questions in the context of the 4Cities scope of learning and exposure immersion.

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