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Fresno Unified scholarship Fund essay - my career goals, special circumstances, awards, abilities...


klee72 1 / 4  
Mar 9, 2016   #1
Fresno Unified Scholarship Fund: "Describe applicants need, circumstances,motivations, inspiration for career goal".

Well it's a scholarship from my district, Fresno Unified, and it is called Fresno Unified scholarship Fund. Not much info but that on the application. It has me list my career goal, special circumstances, awards, abilities, activity's',employment, and community activities on the application and says I need to explain/expand more on it in the essay.

I always knew I wanted to become an artist ever since I was that little girl with an overactive imagination. If my Grandma only knew that one Disney princess drawing book would influence me so much. I still remember feeling those crisps papers and staring at the colorful drawings .The detailed directions of creating these beautiful princess open something inside of me. Getting that drawing book that day, inspired me to draw. The coloring book wasn't enough to satisfy this urge of creativity. Soon the world become my model as began to realize the hidden tiny details that other kids seem unable to draw. All I wanted after that simple magical moment was draw for a career and do something with this talent. That's when I knew majoring in Illustration was my dream major after my youth pastor asked me, "What is something I love to do and I can make money from?" I found a way I could turn this passion into a career by pursuing an Illustration career. Such support from both my family and church made me confident of pursing my chosen major and reminded me of my bright future I will have with my hard work. This helped me onto the path of preparation for college that my parents stressed to both my sisters and my cousins. Knowing that Illustration was my goal, helped me narrow my college list down and really made me believe I could better my life by going off to college. This dream became more of a reality when I was admitted to California college of the arts, but when I looked at the tuition price I realized my parents wouldn't be able to support so many people attending college. My older sister college tuition is supported by our parents and my dad is also attending college. Along with these complications, my parents want to support my two cousins for college and refuse to let me take a loan out of fear that my credit would be put in a bad state. By gaining this scholarship I will be able to help remove some of the stress of paying five different tuitions and will also give me a sense of responsibility. Knowing that I will be able to still go to the school of my choice because of the scholarship money lowering the tuition price, will make me work even harder to show that supporting me wasn't in vain.
Crystal812 23 / 55 11  
Mar 9, 2016   #2
Hi, Karen.

I read your essay. Nice try. I am sorry for what you are experiencing. Do allow me to give some suggestions:

1. You should add some parts about your strengths. The department will give you scholarship, not only because you are in trouble, but they also require applicants to be very outstanding.

2. You need to give more details. Now you just say you are good at art. I am wondering whether you have make some achievements.

3. You are supposed to show your responsibily and objectives. Make them specific. For example, maybe you can indicate your actions to repay the favor in the future. Promise something.

Wish you success!
OP klee72 1 / 4  
Mar 9, 2016   #3
thank you for your advice.
OP klee72 1 / 4  
Mar 9, 2016   #4
Becoming an artist. Not sure if my essay is what it is suppose to - Fresno Unified scholarship Fund.

[...]see above
"What is something I love to do and I can make money from?" I found a way I could turn this passion into a career by pursuing an Illustration career. However, I wish I found this endurance sooner because my grades suffered up to fourth grade, but with my fondness of reading, this new motivation of art encouraged me to excelled academically. It also helped me gain an art based scholarship because of my art portfolio, and started to earn academic awards. It was like I was molting into a Butterfly as people recognizing my skill and I began to grow as a person. Seeing the spoils of all of my hard work just reminds me that all my work doesn't go unnoticed. People began to invest in my creative talent by buying hand drawn portraits and buying me Art supplies. This Support from both my family and church made me confident in the of pursing my chosen major and reminded me that nothing can stop me unless I let it. This helped me onto the path of preparation for college that my parents stressed to both my sisters and my cousins.

[...]see above
Knowing that I will be able to still go to the school of my choice because of the scholarship money lowering the tuition price, will make me work even harder to show that supporting me wasn't in vain. The urge to advance myself in my academics and even as a person has been a source for my drive. When I put my heart into something I put my all into. I promise to still keep the high momentum I have now and even sure past it.


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