Hello EssayForum team,
This is a letter of recommendation written by me and my friend, recommending me for a scholarship. My friend's writing skills are not the best, so I helped him write the letter with his thoughts. Please let me know if there are any mistakes in this essay. Could it be improved in any way?
I appreciate the help.
To Whom It May Concern:
It is an honor to recommend Juan Sebastian Rubio for the HENAAC Scholars Program. I met Juan in my Calculus III class, and we have maintained a close friendship since then. He deserves this scholarship not only because he is in need of financial aid, but most importantly, because he is a true leader.
When I met Juan, I informed him of my struggles with Calculus. I was out of school for two years, and my math skills had declined. He informed me of the Calculus team he formed and invited me to join. Throughout the course, Juan took the time to help me whenever I was in need. He challenged me before tests by reviewing material and asking questions until I knew the subject well. Without his aid, I could have not succeeded. He helped me reach the level of math I use to be at, and for that, I am grateful.
Juan led the team and encouraged us to do better by sharing his story. He worked full-time and attained high grades in his courses, motivating me to do the same. He inspired me to chase my dream of becoming an electrical engineer.
Juan can concentrate on any given task. He devotes his time and effort until he completes it successfully. When he transfers to his university of choice, he will succeed because he is determined, and he will lead the same way he did at Broward College.
I hope you consider him for this scholarship.
Please do not hesitate to contact me with any further questions.
Overall, the letter is very well-crafted. The only improvements to be made are a couple of really nit-picky grammatical details. Also, there isn't much context given for the Calculus team, so it may be worth including Juan's role in it in the 2nd paragraph (unless his involvement is implicit).
It is my honor to recommend Juan Sebastian ...
... and we have maintained a close friendship ever since .
... aid, but most importantly,
I could not have succeeded. He helped me reach the level of mathI use to be at (consider revising). A nd for that, I am grateful. (you could also say ", for which I am grateful.")
He maintained good grades in his courses while working full-time ,
He devotes his time and effort until he completes the task successfully.
HI Juan, as much as I like the heartfelt writing technique in this letter of recommendation, I would not advice this approach, this is because the letter is like trying very hard to recommend you and normally, the council will feel this as a conspiracy between the recommended party and the person who wrote the letter.
What I suggest is this, keep the essay in a professional manner, the struggles are too personal to be included in this essay, more so, the relationship between you and your friend should not be the emphasis of this letter, the focus should be on you.
I suggest that you revise the letter in a way that is centered to your expertise as well as to your future contribution to the institution you want to belong. I hope to review the revised letter soon.
