Hello, I'm applying for KGSP: graduate school and I would like to ask for suggestions to strengthen my essay for my future plan.
Thank you and I will appreciate all the feedback.
career and professional growth in Korea
Once I graduated, I will go back to the Philippines and will work in my chosen field. I would like to acquire a position in an organization or company under the human resource department that will allow me to apply all the knowledge and training I have gained in Korea. I would like to make a comprehensive program about training and development to align personnel and train employees and build their competencies. I will be efficient and effective to the company to help them create a friendly and people oriented organization.
After I practice my degree in the Philippines I still want to broaden my experience and to be seasoned in my chosen field. I also have plans to work and practice my profession in Korea as I was granted a scholarship program. I would like to work in a organization where I can contribute all the knowledge I've learned at the university. I believe staying in Korea will provide me the career growth and professional growth that I am looking for. But I also have a dream to be lecturer on the field I have chosen because this will let me train and inspire more people through my work and life experiences.
As I plan to work in Korea and I am very much interested to their culture and tradition, I also want to actively participate in promoting Korean Culture to everyone and as Filipino to promote friendship. Being multilingual, I would also like to teach Koreans with my language skills. This is to show my appreciation and gratitude for the opportunity that given me.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478
Jasmine, your post study plan does not seem to indicate a plan for your return to your home country. While you are required to stay for a number of years in Korea after you graduate, you are also expected, no, required, to return to your home country. After a respectable period of time, you are supposed to go back and do the equivalent of knowledge transfer in order to help those in your country to benefit from the overseas training you received. While your decision to stay and work in Korea for a time is a required element of the essay, you must clearly indicate a plan to return to your country of origin and indicate your career plans upon your return as well. So the essay does not need correction at this point, it requires additional information instead.