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GKS This scholarship will assist me greatly in my endeavors and allow me the accomplish career goals


rabrab 1 / 1  
Sep 19, 2020   #1

PERSONAL STATEMENT FOR GKS



To whom it may concern:
I have found memories from childhood of drawing buildings and inside of them which I dreamed to live but as I grow I started to ask myself:''Okay here is the design but how can I make it stand for years,for centuries?How can I leave my own legacy?''Like Mimar Sinan or Gustave Eiffel.

Architecture and Civil engineering were always on my mind.My parents tell me I was born with it;that I've always been a creative,talented and proactive.By the time I reached high school,the child in me knew that it wanted to pursue a career in this area.I worked hard throughout high school and got accepted to the Erzurum Atatürk University of Civil engineering this year,but it hasn't started yet because of the pandemic.Since starting high school I got interested in South Korea as well.I tried to learn Taekwando to better understand Korean culture and character.I've started to research about studying there and about the language.And after a thousand researches I found my dream major in South Korea;Architectural Engineering.That was the biggest motivation for me to apply this program cause Architectural Engineering can be just studied in post graduate program in Turkey but there as graduate program so that made me feel really happy and excited.Architectural Engineering is a program of design plus science.That means u can create and innovate. As a result of my in-depth research I've come to the conclusion that Architectural Engineering is most needed career in my country cause Turkey is in the earthquake zone and we live with this truth with fear but this career can make buildings more robust and durable more safely and more liveable.Well if u ask is this major worth to study in Korea?,The answer is easy,I would say afcourse.Cause Korea is in the earthquake zone as well but I've never heard something that people who lives there lost something materially or morally during an earthquake.the last one was on 2017 measured 5.4 and it was the biggest earthqueake in Korean history but there was just some injured ones.My other motivations are that Korea and Turkey has good relations and the cultural similarity,or that Korea has a great education opportunities I have always believed that there is no such thing as enough education and Korea definetly has it.

I was lucky enough to have a well educated father.He works as a Branch manager in an institution affiliated to the Presidency of Religious Affairs.thanks to his job he appointed toto a mosque in Austria.

I've studied primary school and middle school there.It helped me learn German and English really well.
And studying there changed my perspective about new things like cultures etc.Cause everyone knowas this
They ask me why I'm not applying for a scholarship of Europe or USA they think that would be better for me because of the language, but there is the thing those who asks this they didn't even live there or went there for a trip .I've been there what is the point of trying same things so that's why I want to apply this program.This is the biggest significant experience that I've ever made.A decision by myself to continiue my study far away from my home-with airplane its 10 hours-,that means leaving my family,my friends everything I've got here.I know that I'm capable at achieving great things with the right role models and education.The Universities I've choosed they're good at what they doing.After graduation if I comeback to Turkey for work etc.I want that people here to realize how a person is different,confident and how he/she shines when someone educate in Korea.If I stay there I will do my best to benefit the country in the best way possible with the education I've received.

This scholarship will assist me greatly in my endeavors and allow me the accomplish career goals.
Sincerely,
R.S.D
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
Sep 20, 2020   #2
The personal statement is not a cover letter. Do not format it as such. It is a straightforward written interview done in essay style. Use the paragraph form of writing to respond to the questions. Remove references to your childhood drawings and your parents saying you were a born civil engineer. Such exaggerations will make the reviewer lose interest in your application. Remember, you are signing an oath of honesty so do not over emphasize, embellish, or exaggerate in your essay presentations.

I do not see any clear motivation for your studies. Nor do I see a connection between your interests and Korea. Taekwondo is not a good reference point. The origin of the martial arts is questionable. Some say it came from Japan, some say Korea. So look for a discussion that refers to Korea in terms of your passion for this course instead. Admire their own architects and engineers. Explain how they inspired your interests.

You do not show any proper foundation for your interests. You do not have any reference to related extra curricular activities, awards, honors, or basic academic achievements that can prove you have the intellectual capacity to take on a scholarship of this magnitude. Neither have you shown any language preparations that could have been fueled by your interest to study Korea. Your family background is weak and does not show any relationship between you and your family members. Koreans are big on family relationships which is why they ask for your family background in this essay.

There are so many things missing and wanting in this essay when you base the review off the prompt requirements that came with the application form. I strongly urge you to review the required information and then, revise the content of your presentation to strongly illustrate each necessary discussion point. As of now, this is a not so usable draft of your personal statement.
OP rabrab 1 / 1  
Sep 20, 2020   #3
Thank you fır your thoughts I will make it better but I dont know what I can write this is the first time and no one who knows such things is around me


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