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2021 GKS Graduate Personal Statement: International Business Major


Jun0101 1 / -  
Mar 12, 2021   #1
Hello
I am applying for 2021 GKS Graduate Scholarship
My chosen major is International Business
I hope anyone can give any comments or some feedbacks for my essay

scholarship Personal Statement



Prompts:
- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Family and Education background
- Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you

- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences
- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.

Working at an education company for six years has involved me in various business activities that generate my great interest in business and a desire to pursue a career in management. Since then, I have decided to further my Master's study in business. South Korea comes first in my mind. South Korea has impressed me with its fast-growing economy, its success of expanding Korea's pioneering business like Samsung and LG Electronics to the global market, high-quality education system, and advanced technologies, I believe that South Korea is an ideal place to study for my Master's Degree.

The International Business program at XXXX University offers a range of subjects such as management, finance, human resource development, business strategy, and organization which is suited to my academic and career goal. The program also offers a distinct and unique women leadership course which through this course XXXX University has successfully produced women leaders, that is why am interested to enhance my leadership at XXXX University. It is my great pleasure to apply for the Global Korea Scholarship because this program will allow me to study at Korea's prestigious university. Also, GKS will provide me an opportunity to study abroad, and to learn Korean culture that will become my greatest experience that will be beneficial for my life ahead.

I grew up with parents who have low education and low income. However, they did their best efforts to enroll their 3 children in universities. They believe education will lead us to a better life and gain a successful career. Their efforts are my motivation to not give up on pursuing my higher education even in the hardest situations. When I was in high school, I studied hard, became the top three students, and participated in competitions to make them proud of me. Finally, I completed my Bachelor's Degree from the XXXX University in 2013, obtaining a degree in English Literature, and I have acquired English communication, administration, and management skills that enable me to carry out office works after I work at XXXX.

The first time entering the workplace, I faced high-stress situations like dealing with angry customers. However, I have learned from my boss, XXXX. I imitate her strategies in dealing with the high stressed situations with calm, patient, and warmth. I listen to the customers first before I start to speak so I can handle angry customers myself even in her absence.

As Administration Executive Assistant, I maintain day-to-day operations of the business. Some are simple such as maintaining office scheduling and filing system, others are more complex such as handling bookkeeping, handling taxation, dealing with government institutions, and directing staff. I direct staff with caring, if they miss their works, I remind them, I design a schedule of their duties to help them remain on task. I am involved in decision-making and planning strategy for the business goals. Recently, my boss and I have designed online learning methods to continue teaching-learning at XXXX during the pandemic, the business can survive and XXXX can keep teaching students in Indonesia, Korea, and Taiwan. From these job roles, I have gained significant progresses in my ability in business, but still, I wish to learn the in-depth business. Studying international business will polish my understanding, knowledge, and skills in this area.

In pursuing my academic career, I have proven my determination. I could complete my Bachelor's Degree in 3 years and 2 months, I could maintain my GPA, and I received an appreciation as the Best Graduate in 2013. Also, dealing with government institutions urges me to interpret complex regulations of doing business, a difficult task with my limited knowledge about laws, but I put my best efforts to learn it so I can manage it and acquire analytical skills that I apply to solve problems I encounter. I believe my qualifications will lead me to succeed in completing my Master's Degree. I look forward to the chance to join with XXXX University to enhance my knowledge, skills, and leadership, and with GKS I will broaden my network through its community.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447  
Mar 15, 2021   #2
They believe education will lead us to a better life and gain a successful career.

- Talk more about your family background. Introduce your parents to the reviewer. Let him / her get to know your family based on the character, conduct, and work ethics of your parents and how they have inspired you to become a better person / professional.

You can remove the reference to your first time entering the workplace. It is the paragraph after that which is more relevant. You have failed to discuss your extra curricular activities and significant experiences. The work experience is too shallow for this application to make you a contender. You are performing secretarial work more or less, which does not really tie in with your interest in International Business. You need to show a relationship between your work experience and your interest in this course. I do not believe you have any international experience of relevance and that can really pose a problem for your application.


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