Hello, I would like to ask a favor, please kindly help give me feedback for my personal statement for the GKS-G scholarship.
I would like to choose Art & Culture major as my first option, and International Relation as my second and third option (because we have to choose 3, and only 1 uni provides Art & Culture major), but I would like to highlight that my aim is for Creative Economy Diplomacy.
The 2021 guideline ask to put this information for our personal statement:
- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Family and Education background
- Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you
- Extracurricular activities such as club activities, community service activities or work experiences
- If applicable, describe awards you have received, publications you have made, or skills you have acquired, etc.
personal statement for the GKS-G scholarship
Being financially literate help my family from falling into poverty. My mom was a high-school graduate and my dad was born in a small village in a mountain without financial privilege. My mom, a housewife, uses her time to develop her small organization to educate poor and orphans children in the neighborhood, while my dad moved to the city to work in small state-owned cooperation and spend his life developing it into one of the biggest cooperation. He was the sole breadwinner, and by the time he retired I was still high-school, and I had no idea if we are financially capable to support the family of five nor my study. My parents truly my inspiration, they always learn from anything and educate themselves about finance and prepare for retirement days without falling into poverty.
That taught me why economic knowledge truly important to change someone's life. Then, I continue my study in economics major at the best university in Indonesia and choose Financial Literacy topic as my micro project. Sadly, my finding showed many Indonesian students are not aware of financial instruments except banking thus even though they know, they have no desire to use them. I joined several organizations with the purpose educate people on the importance of economic, but it is not easy to make young people interested in this heavy topic. As a marketing communication officer for the biggest economic forum in my university for 3 years, I gave my best to make it relatable and appeal to students and the public. From using different communication tools to direct selling, as the result we able to sold out the ticket and successfully finish the event.
I was chosen to be the first student to pursue a double degree in France, and I met students from all over the world. We always discuss the differences in culture and government regulations, which led us to understand one another. My friend from South Korea gave interesting remarks that aesthetic and compulsory military service make people more patriotic in promoting the country. I truly agree they are very proud of hangeul, food, music, and films, that intrigue foreign people with their passion to learn it. Hence, it becomes a soft power to support South Korean diplomacy. This is where my interest in learning about Korean success began.
Back in Indonesia, I did an internship in an International Non-Profit Organization and Social Community Service which I found ways to develop people's mindset and motivation are through creativity. So, I believe the best way to learn is by directly involve in the creative industry and join an advertising agency named XXX. As the Creative Manager, I responsible to manage my teams to produce initiative materials such as A projects, B projects, which won international awards such as Busan AdStars, Spikes Asia, D&AD, and my company gain the title of Agency of The Year. Usually, my name appears on the award recognition website as the producer and account executive.
After that, I was promoted to be a copywriter to create an impactful brand story that relatable to the target audience. I was having a hard time when the brand is opposite with my belief, such as a digital loan. I didn't want to promote a loan-based lifestyle for millennials, because it's dangerous. I successfully convinced my directors to make this ad to be the medium to educate people on the benefit of using loan wisely in which is highly accepted by the client and made us win this pitching. However, I learned that though creatives have great ideas, usually encountered production barriers, and thus the output ads not equal to the creative plan. This makes me wonder, what can I do to increase the quality like Korean creative industry. This makes me want to contribute to Creative Economy Diplomacy, where the Indonesian Embassy in Korea has a team specialize in that area to strengthen the creative relationship between these 2 countries. For this reason, I would like to gain knowledge and experience from the professor and professional in Korea through GKS Program.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447
The way that you speak of the wealth that your family has highlights that you do not need this scholarship to gain an education overseas. Not as much as a far more deserving, economically challenged applicant for the scholarship. Your family background and perceived wealth, specially since you had the opportunity to pursue a double degree overseas, without the need for a scholarship, makes it highly evident that you have no need for financial support for your studies abroad. Your wealth is actually what weakens your application. If I were you, I would not speak of how your parents were able to easily afford your education, nor any reference to the wealth of your parents because it really makes you a weaker candidate. If you were chosen for the double major based on a scholarship, and did not need your parents financial support, because you were a scholar, then you have to make that clear in the paragraph.