Hello everyone I am going to apply to the GKS scholarship on this february. I am a little bit nervous about the personal statement so I will really appreciate any advice in order to have an excellent statment
personal statement for scholarship
o Motivations with which you apply for this program
o Your education and work experience in relation to GKS.
o Reason for studying in Korea
o Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research.
Service and integrity toward others has been the way of thinking that my family has inculcated me since I have use of reason, so I strongly believe that a life without those values, even if you become the most intelligent or wealthiest person in the world, everything is mere vanity. Hence, my motivation for studying a Master degree in Korea is the possibility of serving others beyond my own country because I am conscious that the world is getting more globalized and sadly my current degree, i.e. Bachelor in Law, is limited to a local scope of practicing. Thus, taking a Master in Korea with a broader international output, such as International Studies would allow me to serve others in a broad scope; to help me to grow as a person; to complement my current professional skills; to enhance my knowledge in foreign languages and to be useful for getting closer together the Korea and Colombia. All this, because it is my dream to become a professor with expertise in East Asia and then form students with great passion about this marvelous region which is still an enigma for many people not only in my country but also in Latin America.
When I was in College many professors encouraged me to look further and seek opportunities abroad, so during my Bachelor in Law I was much disciplined and became an excellent student. I eagerly participated in classes, got an excelled GPA, that granted me studying free for one semester, and joined in extracurricular activities, such as research groups, which allowed me to travel to International Congresses in Argentina and Uruguay where I was able to meet and learn about other cultures increasing my enthusiasm about studying abroad. Therefore, in my search of expanding my horizons I have been studying Korean and Japanese during two years since English is not enough for me and reaching a proficient level in both languages would allow me to become an excelled internationalist and professor. Moreover when I graduated from Law School I became attorney in Law giving legal service and council to people in need and since August 2019 I have been working as a professor of Civil Law in Horizonte University. Both professional experiences have been very gratifying since I have been able to work and serve for the welfare of people and attend their needs.
The value of serving others that has rooted on myself has a certain resemblance with the philosophy of Korea, the 'Hongik Ingan', and that is the main reason I choose Korea, above any other country, to study my Master. Due to a Pagoda located in my University which worships the soldiers who lost their life in Korean war, I got interested in Korean culture and decided to study Korean language. Hence, thanks to the Korean classes and teachers I got more involved in studying Korean Culture, learning not only the language, but others cultural expressions such as Korean Literature, History and Philosophy. Thus, it was through my classes that I learnt about Hongik ingan and since then a huge admiration of such philosophy grew on myself due to the resemblance in my way of thinking. Thus, even if there are other possible reasons for studying in Korea which I account, such as the Han River Economic Miracle, the Korean high quality education or even the Hallyu Wave, the main reason for me to study in Korea is the familiarity that I feel with this philosophy rooted there since Silla Dynasty because 'living and working for the benefit of all human kind' is what makes all truly meaningful and that is the purpose I want to fulfill.
Finally, studying International Studies would be the perfect way to complement my personal and career paths in order to serve people not just in a specific country but internationally due to the affinity with my current degree, my eagerness of serving, teaching and learning new languages and cultures. Thus if I am granted with this scholarship I will help people, especially in Colombia, to comprehend better the issues about East Asia sharing the knowledge received and then helping to get closer together Colombia and Korea
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,351 3366
Reformat the content of the essay to better address the connection of your interest in Korea and your personal background. Discuss your family philosophy in relation to the Hongik Ingan at the start. I know, it will not follow the prompt guideline presentation. Nobody said the guidelines were set in stone with regards to presentation in the essay. Doing that will make the essay develop an interesting hook that will immediately impress the reviewer. You don't have to discuss Korean history and pop culture, the philosophy is unique enough to make the essay stand out.
Based on that revision, you should be able to better explain the connection of your personal philosophy with your law career. This will be the motivational aspect of the essay. Work backwards from there and try to highlight your achievements as a Hangul student (proficiency level) and your Korean related activities on campus. These should better represent the GKS connection of your education. Your academic background is a bit weak. You need to show academic excellence in some way, not just saying you have an excellent GPA. There should also be some reference to your strength as a researcher as required in the latter part of the guidelines. I do not see any of that in the presentation.
The essay needs more relevant information, better editing, and a clear discussion direction. Provide that, and the essay will be better than this version.