Dear all, I am from Singapore and I'm interested to take a Masters in Clinical Psychology through this scholarship via Embassy Track. Would appreciate your help! Thank you!
GKS Scholarship Personal Statement
My ambition to study in Korea stems from my deep interest in the Korean Language and Culture. My interest in the Korean Language and Culture began when I befriended a Korean friend who kindly shared with me about her home country and we exchanged languages as she was studying and working in Singapore. Since then, I became more interested in Korea and travelled to Korea almost yearly. Being able to live and study in Korea would be like a dream come true for me; with this motivation, I applied for this scholarship program.
Due to my interest in the language and culture, I started to learn Korean on my own 4 years ago and am currently enrolled in the Pre-Advanced Level 3 Korean classes in XXX Language School in Singapore. The 4 years of learning Korean showed my determination and passion to learn the language. As I could communicate in English, Mandarin Chinese, and Korean, I believe that I would have the ability to do well in a University graduate program that incorporates Korean and non-Korean students. I have also travelled to Korea five times for leisure with my family and friends, therefore I am not foreign to the culture and the people and am confident to be able to acclimatize quickly. I also look forward and am ready to handle any challenges that I may encounter during my course of study.
I have a Bachelor of Psychology and a Specialist Diploma in Career Counselling and am currently working as a Job Coach in a Special Needs School in Singapore. As a Job Coach, I utilized my psychological knowledge to put in place special needs-friendly features in the workplace and provide individual counselling to motivate my students at work and tackle any work-related problems so that they may ultimately gain an employment before graduation. It is a very satisfying and exciting career to be able to help my students with intellectual disability find employment and become useful members of society. I am also a grassroots leader and a member of the Cairnhill CC Youth Executive Committee in Singapore and this experience has taught me valuable skills such as leadership, event planning and communication, which help me to become a more confident individual who can give back to society. My role as a grassroot leader is centered on bringing the government and Singapore residents closer together through feedback gathering and social events. I believe that this experience will help me to do well in the University's academic rigor and extracurricular activities.
My strength is in Research Methodology and Statistics during my Undergraduate study and I emerged as the top student in my cohort for the module "Advanced Behavioural Research Design and Analysis". In the final year of my undergraduate study, I earned my honours by spending a year completing a research thesis on a subject related to Environmental Psychology. My research thesis was on the restorative potential of animals in rural and urban environment on human beings using a one-way ANNOVA with planned comparisons. As part of graduation requirements, I also did a presentation on my thesis topic and findings to the audience (lecturers and teachers) and was voted as the 2nd most engaging presentation. This experience has taught me how to present my topic and findings in a simple and engaging manner to the audience so that they may benefit from the findings. I realized that I enjoyed doing research and presentation and I hope that during my 2 years in the University, I could publish at least 2 journal articles and contribute to the field of clinical and counselling psychology. My interest in developing and deepening my skills in this sector can also be demonstrated by the fact that I went onto a postgraduate degree program and consequently graduated from a specialist diploma in career counselling with a GPA of 3.67/4.
I choose to pursue a Master's degree in Psychology because it will bring me closer to my lifelong dream of becoming a Clinical Psychologist who can help my clients live a healthy mental life. In Singapore, 1 in 8 residents have a chance of getting a major mental disorder in their lifetime (Singapore Mental Health Study, 2010) and in Seoul, 1 in 4 would experience at least one mental disorder in their lifetime (The Korea Herald, 2017). Therefore, I would like to help them to overcome this and ultimately work towards being free from the disorder. This scholarship would help me tremendously to finance for my postgraduate education and fulfil my dream of studying in Korea and becoming a Psychologist.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Rachel, your interest to study in Korea, based on the motivation of spending time with a Korean is not acceptable. It lacks the convincing strength of a person who has considered the advancements Korea has made in Psychology and how it has helped the Koreans or set the stage for international adaptation within the mental health sector. Just because you developed an interest in Korea and you want to live in Korea because of that experience with a Korean does not make sense.
Even worse, the way you worded the essay, you make it appear that you would like to use the scholarship as a sponsored living program in Korea. The GKS is not in the practice of sponsoring people who simply want to live in Korea on the dime of the government. Take that out of your presentation. The dream should not be to live in Korea. The dream should be to absorb as much of the Korean educational system and in the process, the lifestyle, to help you get ahead in your professional field.
If you are not a published author, there is no need to tell the reviewer that you hope to be published in the future. That will not help your essay. Though not a requirement, being a published author in your profession would help your application. If you are not published, then it doesn't matter, it won't have an effect on your application. There is no need to explain it to the reader.
These are the sections of your essay that you need to focus on improving. Anything not mentioned in this review can remain in the essay without changes.
