Hi, I'm getting ready to apply for GKS-G this year. I appreciate if someone will critique and give some advice my work. Thank you so much.
Personal Statement
"Go with the choice that scares you the most, because that's the one that's going to help you grow." psychology said.
I am deeply interest to the problems that owned by human being make I choose psychology to my concern education until being professional. Just because I was in a class of employees, I couldn't join many organization in campus but I was still had the opportunity to attend seminars and psychological training. One of the most interesting training interest me is a training micro-expression which discusses how we know someone's reaction to an event in their first expression which lasts a fraction of a second. This training had trained me to be more aware of the conditions of those around me and had made it easy for me to understand their mental conditions. In addition, for almost a year I was entrusted with being the class leader in the class in charge of class administration and direct contact with lecturers regarding assignment and other matters related to learning. Thanks to that, I became more adept in terms of time and work management because there were a lot of deadlines that had to be completed, whether related to campus or office.
When I worked for the first time in Montessori school in Jakarta, I had the opportunity to see directly how a child psychologist work and work out to a result diagnose which she got all day after school observation. In this section I'm more aware about many psychological problem that should became a great attention. After that since 2015 until now I have been a Quran teacher in several schools, had to meet parents when distributing report cards, provide reports on student progress during learning and listen to a lot of complaints and stories of students when they have some problems. Finally, at the end of 2020, I got a job as a counselor at a homeschooling. This is where my psychology finally came to be fruitful. I encountered several cases related to children's behavior related to parenting styles at home and having an impact on children's activities at school. I also had the opportunity to accompany a student for a psychological test at a psychology institution in Jakarta, as representative from the school. Even though during the test I was not allowed to enter, I had the opportunity to discuss the result. At the end of 2021 in December I joined Cahaya Psikologi Indonesia, a psychology institution that provides psychological test services for individuals and institutions such as school and offices. By joining this institution, I learned and was able to master several psychological test tools such as CFIT, RMIB, Holland and NST.
Yonsei University is my first and only choices campus to pursue psychology studies in South Korea. This is based on several things, first, department of psychology at Yonsei University ranked number 1 in Korea for Psychology at 2022 The World University. This shows that the development of research and psychology at Yonsei University is the best in South Korea. Second, there are many laboratories at Yonsei University and there are two laboratories that interest my research, and I already contacted the professors who are supervisors in these laboratories. First is professor Park Soo Hyun in Stress, Trauma and Affect Regulation laboratory, the second professor is professor Kyong Mee Chung in Digital Mental Health laboratory and I have received a reply to my email regarding the availability of a position as a masters student in their laboratory. South Korea is one of the most advanced countries in the field of education. I saw several students from Indonesia who had finished their studies in South Korea and they all said that South Korea has a very good education system. The complete set of teaching aids in each laboratory and easy access for students to support their learning, good communication between students and their supervisors, the great support given by the professor for the development of students under his guidance motivates me to be able to experience studying there.
Aiming to study in South Korea has been dream of mine ever since I graduated from high school but at that time I didn't know any information regarding scholarships to study in there. Considering the limited funds I have, I need financial support to continue my studying to a higher level. That's why I have to work while studying on my bachelor's degree. However, I know that doing the same thing in South Korea is not as easy as in Indonesia because there is limitation for students to work in South Korea. It will be great if I could have financial support and spend all my time and mind on studying and researching only. This is one of the reason why I am applying for GKS-G program to help me achieve my goal in life. The program offers a fully funded tuition fee and assistance to all aspiring international students who wanted to pursue a higher level education. The program also offers a Korean language course for a better understanding of the chosen graduate course of a student since most of the courses are offered in Korean language.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 I cannot even begin to analyze the errors in prompt presentation in this essay due to the severe problem with English grammar. The writer is not coherent at all in any of the sentence and paragraph presentations due to a highly obvious inability to properly write in English. That is aside from the lacking information based on the prompt requirements.
The writer does not have any idea regarding how to develop a properly worded and prompt responsive sentence and paragraph presenation. If the writer were to submit this essay as a part of the application package, he will be rejected due to incoherence even before the reviewers finish reading the first nonsensical paragraph.
The best thing that this applicant can do is hire a professional writer to help him develop a more coherent and prompt responsive personal statement. This particular version is beyond any help.
