I am applying for a scholarship to study MSc in Applied microbiology and Biotechnology and I have to write an essay.Below is my essay. I was wondering if anybody could help me improve my essay.The prompt is here " Write A short essay - of about 500 words in English - giving reasons for applying for scholarship, explaining your educational goals, and clearly describing how you will use the experience gained from your Master's degree studies to help in the development of your home country"
My essay
Date: -----
Place----
Dear Selection Committee,
I remember that somebody once said: God has bestowed each of us a skeleton and a limited life. It is up to us all to do our best within this limited life span and to emit as much heat and light as possible so as to illuminate the whole world while providing warmth to ourselves before the candle of life dies out. The saying brings me home that life is limited, but love and relentless efforts can be a torch that kindles it and makes it most valued and cherished. For me, this torch is nothing other than biology. The Earth and every tiny microbe that dwells here is my inspiration, and the intricate functions of a single cell the only proof I need to believe that the spirit lies in life itself. I am astounded by the dual nature of microbial population having both beneficial and harmful aptitudes. My one goal is to do anything I can to improve the eminence human life by utilizing these miniscule microbes in better way.
Since my study at X University I have explored many different areas of study, always pursuing a way to defend the defenseless. Through our microbiological group at university campus, I began to realize that there were millions of species I knew nothing about and that the earth needs scientists who are willing to speak for these tiny microbes. I would love to study the amazing diversity of life of microorganisms and their expediency to mankind through biotechnology.
In order to take this step in my educational career, I am applying for financial aid through the Y for study in applied microbiology and biotechnology at the Z in --. Throughout my life I have always been passionate about contributing to the lives on earth. When I learned about this program I became ecstatic. Partaking in this unique opportunity will prepare me for my future career goals and aid to my growth as a teacher and scientist with modern microbiology and biotechnology knowledge. While participating in this program I will be working in the field amongst other scientists and gaining hands on experience, which will enrich my current education and my future career as a university teacher.
I do not receive any financial support from my family and government and consequently, I am extremely reliant on scholarship to see this experience come to fruition. In essence they will allow me to receive an excellent education in an amazing country and will enable me to spread my new found insight and knowledge to further educate the people around me.
Upon completing the program, I plan to return to work at my previous position and will engaged in research and teaching. Throughout the rest of my lifetime, I desire to continue in this same manner of unselfish work just as Robert Koch, Francis Crick, James Watson, Ruth Ella Moore, Stanley Prusiner, Alexander Fleming who dedicate their life working with microbes for the sake of human being, I commit my life to helping others and to advancing society's level of understanding about the life on this earth.
I do hope that by my above inspirational words, I will be accepted as a beneficiary of the scholarship. I understand that obtaining the scholarship is competitive, but I also realize that I'm qualified, passionate, enthusiastic and prepared to meet all of the challenges I will be presented with.
Sincerely,
Name---
which will enrich my current education and my future career as a university teacher.
...which will enrich my current knowledge and my aspired future teaching career at the university. .... hope you are already a teacher at a uni in your home country.
I plan to return to work at my previous position and will engaged in research and teaching.
I plan to return home to take up my previous position and will engage in research and teaching with more knowledge and confidence .Throughout the rest of my lifetime, I desire to continue in this same manner of unselfish work just as Robert Koch, Francis Crick, James Watson, Ruth Ella Moore, Stanley Prusiner, Alexander Fleming who dedicate their life working with microbes for the sake of human being, I commit my life to helping others and to advancing society's level of understanding about the life on this earth.
.... this one is a bit too long. Consider rephrasing;
I wish to dedicate my life in an unselfish manner to the betterment of mankind just as the work of Robert Koch, Francis Crick, James Watson, Ruth Ella Moore, Stanley Prusiner and Alexander Fleming. The works of these great scientists keep inspiring me to help my community, nation and the people of world at large at my best ability through my contribution to the field of microbiology.I find this is a well written response !
Good luck with your scholarship!
