We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors helped you to grow?
A senior at my high school posted a link about the Questbridge program on our school's facebook page a few months back. She was accepted to Penn with a full ride, but of course, she is breathtakingly smart and I am well, me. I had numerous fights with myself, the angel and devil on my shoulder. Half of me is cheering myself on, even if it means failure, I gave it my all, and my honesty, whatever happens, happens.
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Hi, Here are few mistakes that I have highlighted.
She was accepted to Penn with a full ride, but of course, she is breathtakingly smart and I am well, me. I had numerous fights with myself..You started with a past tense verb 'was' and then follow with a present tense verb 'am'.
the angel won, and here I am typing this essay.. same problem with this sentence 'angel won [...] and I was'
So, for the gazillionth..
My past experiences had pulled me into the slumps, really...Use simply 'experiences'
Every day after school, every weekend..
It has been about three weeks of deleting and rewriting,
The context I gave grown up in taught me that there are a lot of teen moms and drug dealers
I recieved "C" after "C" after "C" ( I think triple after "C" is overdoing)
I am the cashier, as well, as the clothes folder/washer, and night cleaning staff.
might not be the best of Questbridge applicants, but I do have my undying optimism.(can you tell me what it means? I didn't understand)
A few months back, a senior from my high school posted a link about the Questbridge program on our school's facebook page. She has been accepted to Penn with a full ride, but of course, she is breathtakingly smart, and I am, well, me. I had numerous fights with myself, the angel and devil resided on my shoulder. Half of me cheered myself on, even if it meant failure. The other half harshly reminded myself that only the super duper overachievers will be selected. I am just a little ant from North Philly. For the most part, the angel has triumphed, and here I am typing this essay.
I think I deleted and retyped everything about a gazillion times already. I just cannot answer the prompt. It seems so simple, but how do I squeeze 17 years of chaos into one well written, 650 words maximum essay? It has been about three weeks of pondering and rewriting. Honestly, my frustration pushed me to the point that I contemplated erasing Questbridge out of my search history, and forget about the program once and for all. Despite that, I didn't. So for the gazillionth and oneth time, I am rewriting my essay. My experiences pulled me into the slumps, really close to giving everything up. The context I have grown up in taught me that there are many people my age becoming teen moms and drug dealers in North Philadelphia, including about 70% of my former classmates. My personal life is a colossal mess comprised of babysitting and cleaning. Every bit and piece of my past helped me grow because it taught me, no matter how bad things get, one day it'll get better. As long as I make the most of out today, and live optimistically, every day is worth living.
Central High is one of the top schools in Philadelphia, it thrusted me into the reality of how smart people are. Here, it was survival of the fittest, and I was not fit. I recieved "C" after "C", it murdered my confidence and I was drowning in quicksand. Sophomore year became worst, I had no idea what I was doing. Whatever I did do, it was not right. My grades were at most, just decent. On the other hand, my peers excelled at everything they did. I felt like the square peg in a round hole. Junior Year is the most important year of high school, and I am determined to not let anything get the best of me, and tried my hardest. I am glad everything worked out; my present grades are significantly better compared to the before.
Right now, my family of 7 are squeezed into a 3 bedroom apartment next to our family laundromat. Every day after school, every weekend, and every day of my summer is spent working there. I am the cashier-, as well, as the clothes folder/washer-, and night cleaning staff. Whatever time aside not tending the store, it is to babysit my younger siblings, the devilish duo. I do not have a lot of personal time nor studying time because of my family matters. My parents are not really involved in my education either. They are immigrants and were never given the opportunity to develop interest in the higher education. I am determined to go to college and become successful to make their lives easier in the future. As I am growing up, I know they are growing older too. Hopefully, I become able enough take the weight off their shoulders and wrinkles off their face.
In 3 months, I will officially be done with my junior year of high school. I will be getting ready to catapult into the tremendous bundle of paperwork required for the college process. The requirements for completely this application bewildered me at moments because of the extensive questions I did not know how to answer. However, because of this experience, when I actually do apply, there will no longer be an angel nor devil. I will be emotionally prepared to finish the my applications(hopefully), and get ready to start a new chapter of life, college.
I lied. 17 words over the limit T^T PLEASE HELP!!!
