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Scholarship essay for graduate study in electrical engineering

Rashan 2 / 9 2  
Nov 22, 2016   #1
Submit an essay (250 words maximum) explaining how this award will assist your ability to receive an education and indicate your career and personal goals.

Electrical Engineering

Scholarships, particularly for ambitious students like myself, would help achieve the goal for studying in USA; a better, qualitative education with broad knowledge of the subjects. The scholarship would provide me more time to concentrate on my studies rather than me needing to earn money to pay for my tuition and living expenses. It also strengthens my opportunity to add multiple courses to my study and increase my credit hours, which, without scholarship, I would not be able to pay. Provided the fact that the scholarship is free money, it would reduce my financial stress during and after completion of the courses. I would not have do minimum-wage jobs to repay (as in case of loans) the scholarship which would give me plenty of time to prepare for my further education (a PhD).

I believe I'm very ambitious; I want to bring changes to the education and energy scenario in my country as an adept electrical engineer. My one and only personal goal is to provide freshly graduated electrical engineers the opportunities that I was deprived of; the opportunity to attend graduate school at low cost with plenty of room for research and development (related to electrical engineering). I also want to build my career towards a power system researcher and a research instructor and eventually establish my own research department under Nepal government (Nepal electricity authority) which will ultimately help realize my life long objective.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,352 3366  
Nov 22, 2016   #2
Rasham first and foremost, never refer to a scholarship as free money. That is the wrong concept of a scholarship and will make it seem like all that matters to you is the money the scholarship will provide. Which, in all honesty is true of all applicants, but should never be broadcast as an actual statement to the scholarship reviewer. Kindly omit that statement in your essay. It does not come across in a good light.

Your desire for the scholarship utilizes reasons that are so tired, old, and oft repeated to the scholarship reviewers of all foundations. My suggestion is this, try to think out of the box this time. Look up the scholarship grant that you are applying to, work on presenting your personal goals in a manner that embodies the scholarship mission, objectives and/or values. That way your personal goal becomes far more reaching and inclusive than just the electrical engineering graduates of tomorrow.

Am I right in assuming that you are pursuing this scholarship for graduate school? That is the implication I am receiving from the statement you made about wishing to help the other graduates attend higher education. Therefore, your scholarship goals should be more specific than the current blanket statement. Discuss instead how this scholarship will help you become a better engineer as you can focus all of your concentration and efforts on researching a specific project or field of study while in school.

Explain what results you hope to achieve through the research and then tell them that the only way you can achieve the goal of completing your academic higher studies, along with revolutionizing your field of work, is by utilizing the opportunity that a scholarship provides. That way the essay responds in a more original manner than you currently have.
OP Rashan 2 / 9 2  
Nov 22, 2016   #3
Thank you for such valuable insights and suggestions. I will make corrections in the essay and post it again as soon as possible. Thank you very much.

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