Dear Sir or Madam,
I am xxx, graduated as bachelor in chemistry. Ever since my days in college, I have a strong desire to go abroad for higher education. With my boss and parents' supports I endeavored to fulfill my dream and to be admitted to xxx.
Chemistry is the fundamental of all applied science. Due to my major, I think that continue my further abroad in Europe is a good training for me, especially in France which is famous for science and engineering. Besides, in the international year of chemistry 2011 it will hold lots of events and activities. I think it must be enable me to broaden my horizons in different field of chemistry. Moreover, I can develop my professional ability by learning more effective and practical experimental methods and techniques to further my knowledge and advance my professional skills between participating institutions in this programme.
Personally, I am really interested in this programme for its interdisciplinary focus and wide range of research opportunities. We will have a series of courses in chemistry also in economic sustainability and environmental safety, conservation and protection. From the view of sustainable implementation of industrial process is associated with environment-friendly production system. I would like to develop new approaches from renewable sources as an alternative to solve the up-to-date energy crisis.
Apart from school curriculum, I also took part in other activities. I joined xxxx in my second year and held the position of minster responsible for secretarial works. In the next year, I was served as a vice-leader. Therefore by this experience it contributed a lot in development of my ability to lead and conduct relationship with people.
Not only was I involved with academic and extra curricular activities; I also work as a project assistant, and this employment has taught me to have an innovative mind to think differently to find the best way or solution. The content of work really inspires me about how to explain natural phenomena of nanotechnology by designing simple experiments for students.
In addition, I have a strong faith in my belief. I am a Christian. As I know Europe is the original place of Reformation Christianity. Throughout the history of past centuries many Christ lovers dedicated their whole life to the faith. It really touched me deeply. I also hope that I can go to Europe to learn the history of Christianity.
Finally, I would like to thank you in advance for considering my scholarship application. I look forward to your response.
Yours sincerely,
Ever since my days in college, I have felt a strong desire...
In the first paragraph, you talk about a strong desire to go abroad, but I don't think that is the strong desire. I think going abroad is a "means to an end." That means you want to go experience new cultures so that you can make a big splash in this world. What is your real goal, your real interest?
I think you should change the first paragraph so that it expresses a meaningful goal associated with making a contribution to science. Your homework is to read a biography of Marie Curie. She will inspire you. Her work with radiation ultimately killed her, but she changed the whole world.
Okay, you wrote about many different things in this essay. It seems like a list. I think you should add a few sentences to the first and last paragraph and use a clever, memorable phrase or word as your THEME. You should have one big theme that is repeated at the beginning and end.
Most importantly, go read 10 articles tonight that interest you. Make them articles about chem. You should revise this essay so that it discusses current chem topics. To not just refer generally to science and chemistry.
Do some reading about the most recent advancements, and discuss them. That is the field you are jumping into. :-)
