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Why would you be a great participant in Global UGRAD program- Essay 1


Asep 2 / 2 1  
Dec 30, 2017   #1
Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?

SOMETHING BIG DOES NOT HAVE TO COME FROM A BIG ONE



I live in small town called Gadingrejo, it is far enough from the crowds and modernization,I spend one hour to reach my Campus,I come in the morning,and back in late afternoon,sometimes in the evening. That is why,I will never miss every single moment in studying and socializing in campus.

I was admired my majors when I was in Junior High,I saw the news about the U.S. Scientist Paul Kuroda and Enrico Fermi biography who had initiated the nuclear reactor. nowadays U.S. government could be wisely utilize this initiation and makes U.S. far from lack of energy,it is different with my town which periodically every week always got failure in electricity. I really interest about Nuclear use for renewable energy. Therefore,it is being one of my reason taken chemistry as my majors.

As a student,I have several activities not only in my majors field study,but also outside, both I try to do the best. I am a third semester student who responsible to be a tutor for my junior,I suppose to available whenever my junior ask me about lessons and courses. On the other hand,I have research of PKM (Indonesia:Program Kreativitas Mahasiswa) project to invent a brand new product initiate by Ministry of Research. Moreover I should not forget duty as a student, that is learning. Not only academic fields,I join several organizations outside campus,such as English Society,Remaja Islam Masjid,and Badminton Club,these organizations also make my brain doing the extra-work,I should set the practical schedule, execute every work programs, preparing the upcoming events,and respond any friends which has different character to socialize.

These activity has lead me to be more-organized person who face everything should in my control to manage my time efficient and makes all of my schedule done properly, I am kind of person who likes to organize what I have to do in next hour,and next day,so I try as possible as I can to not wasting my time.

As my dream before,I desire to be a nuclear scientist. I realize that I do not gain this courses in my campus,because my campus only provides Inorganic Chemistry that has relevance with Physical Chemistry. Therefore I have to learn so much from the experienced lecturers and excellent-facilitated college. If I have the opportunity to study abroad such as in Harvard University, Princeton University,and University of Chicago. I believe my understand in chemistry will be widen because those Universities is well-known in chemistry.

I do not only want to enhance my knowledge in academic,but also in social-political knowledge,if I get a chance to study abroad and join the community,organization,or club in renowned campus,I am sure I can obtain a lot of experience about how to manage my communities or organizations to be develop and innovative,because I also realize that we still have some shortcomings in organizing the organization,even we can share each other about the leadership culture and so on.

The entire things I have done have a purpose to upgrade my self to be more valuable especially for me and others,If I am kindly given the opportunity to study in U.S. I will highly maximize my self to collect as many as possible knowledges and experiences from the expert lecturer and communities,and after go back,I will actualized my short-term vision to transfer every knowledges that i have been got to my peers,my major field study and my communities. The last,my long-term visions,although I had only given study in U.S. for 1-2 semesters,it should be the beginning to build a country to be prosperous.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,031 2721  
Dec 31, 2017   #2
Saepudin I feel that your essay is too cut and dried in presentation. You are telling the reviewer that you will make a good candidate and rattling off your reasons through your abilities and accolades in school. That is not to say that this is a bad thing. Rather, it becomes a boring presentation of your accomplishments instead of an insight into the motivation, purpose, and personal beliefs that represent who you are. These are the 3 important pieces of information that should be driving your essay. I get a sense of these presentations in the second half of your essay. Try to develop it some more. You will be submitting your transcript of records with your application so the reviewer will be able to decide on your academic qualifications based upon those documents. What he needs to know more about is who you are. Consider introducing your leadership and team member traits as a part of the organization you mentioned. Don't muddle the information about you being a tutor. The idea is to impress the reviewer with your organizational abilities in relation to an actual setting. I believe you short-changed yourself when you did not fully develop that part of the essay. As for your motivation, why you want to become a nuclear scientist? How would your studies in this area help you to improve the state of nuclear science in your country and internationally? I believe that you have the potential to create a fantastic essay based on this draft. I hope you can take the time to revise it.


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