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Why would you be a great participant of this scholarship? Well let's be real about that.

tomgk 1 / 1  
Dec 15, 2019   #1

i do have advantages which i can be accepted for

First of all thank you so much for this opportunity.
Well let's be real about that. I can not say hey I'm unbelievable, incredible I'm the best for this opportunity hey I'm great take me. because I'm sure that a lot of people deserve it just like I think I do .this opportunity going to change my long term goals,maybe achieving the dream of being a professor. my whole life but I can say that I feel myself suitable for this because I have done this before , I have been part of a community which I was a good helper.

It was a brilliant experiment for me I have become sure of myself.my abilities.my intelligent.,it was about having fun of teaching my classmates not just studying a course like any usual person does . I have tried to make them love to study through the way of teaching them the course. I made it with some of them but the others no. but no blame I'm not well trained I'm not professional I had to have time for myself as i was a student but I did my best to help. to make them excited to understand the courses, being sure of themselves because of understanding very well .they told me you are going to be a professor one day (I hope ) and they were studying from my summaries

It was more easier and understandable than professor's book.
All of that happen when I was a student at Madina academy it was an institute for language and translation I had joined for one year I had become the top of class there then I transferred to business administration - accounting

At the first I thought I was good at just teaching English and I had become the top of my class for one time and it is not going to be repeated again as for accounting field is a bit harder than languages (from my point of view)

But I had to stop and say to myself it is not about the field it is about you . You can do it anyway,anywhere

If you are intelligent you are going to do it if you are not do not put your blame on other things.
Starting from that time I got motivated and I had started over again.well I'm not going to say it was a piece of cake and I just did it . Actually I studied hard and did my best to do it again and finally thanks to God the dream had become true and I have made it and become the top of my class again in the first year and here we are in the second year I'm trying to do my best.

I believe i do have advantage which i can be accepted for : I'm a friendly, wise and honest person.Like making new friends, sharing my experiences and stories with other people I'm kind of person who likes to organize what I have to do in next hour, and next day, so I try as possible as I can to not wasting my time..I'm an extroverted person who can fully engage in a conversation and I want to experience the great American culture

I intend that when i get back i will give lectures to students in my college on what I've learned in the USA
Thank you for helping us ,Thank you for being here.
FairuzDhiaKhalis 2 / 2 1  
Dec 16, 2019   #2
Your first paragraph seems quite unformal and kinda throw me off for an essay for scholarship. I do think that you should rephrase your words for the first paragraph and taking a more softer approach
hadilakk 3 / 7 3  
Dec 16, 2019   #3
Your first paragraph has some punctuation mistakes and it's very casual. While flowery phrases are not preferred in such essays, you have made it too casual and informal. Your essay on an overall basis has grammatical errors.
sleepyshamrocks 4 / 6 4  
Dec 17, 2019   #4
Your essay is riddled with grammatical errors and has an inconsistent flow. I suggest not adding the 'great American culture' part because it makes you sound a little desperate. The part about your switch from language to accounting is good, but you have to emphasize why you did it and how it has made you better in the long run.
OP tomgk 1 / 1  
Dec 17, 2019   #5
thanks for help
any other editions ? how many other students have I helped..? none so far

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