Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width Posts: 2


'To grow in my spiritual strength' - BYU SHORT essay: Describe a setback


marengunnell 2 / 4  
Nov 26, 2011   #1
Describe a setback, how've you've gained or become stronger from it (paraphrase due to lack of time)
Please keep in mind that BYU is a religious institute. THANK YOU.

Thinking back to the fall of my freshman year of high school, I don't think I knew the potential I had to grow in my spiritual strength. Many things have brought me to the state I am now, different friends, several different schools, and altogether new experiences.

Later, in the winter of that year, my good friend Noah died. I was sitting in seminary when I recieved the phone call from his sister. The instant I picked up the phone, I started crying. The sound of her voice explained all.

See, Noah wasn't just some average teenager. Throughout his life, doctors had told him he couldn't participate in games like the other children, his heart was too weak. When I met him, I would have never known. Noah played every sport he could and he never stopped to try and play it "safe". I think he knew more about his role in life than I could have imagined.

The weeks following Noah's death are difficult to describe. It seemed as if the whole school was in limbo, that with this one empty space we all couldn't balance.

The defining moment for me in this experience was directly after the funeral. In our time of comforting each other, I caught a phrase in which the bishop said "...he's where he is needed, where he is called." Noah was meant to die? He wasn's supposed to be here, enjoying life? He died for a purpose? And then it clicked. I had always heard growing up that there is a greater picture, that we may not know our purpose until we have fulfilled it. Noah was meant to serve us and others in heaven. Now I am trying to do my best, so that I can live up to my purpose like my dear friend Noah.

-----This is my second try at this, the first one described more but was over 400 words. This one is 303 words. UGH. Help! Am I going in the right direction?

-------My father also corrected it and said I should shoot more in a more general direction...Is there a way I can combine these gracefully?

A particular setback that I can recall had to do with the death of one of my good friends during my freshman year. I was sitting in seminary when the call came from his sister saying he had passed away.

The weeks following Noah's death were difficult. The whole school was in limbo...that with this one empty space we all couldn't balance. The defining moment for me was directly after the funeral. I caught a phrase in which the bishop said "...he's where he is needed, where he is called." Noah was meant to die? He wasn't supposed to be here, enjoying life? He died for a purpose? Then it clicked. I had always heard that there is a greater picture, that we may not know our purpose until we have fulfilled it. Noah was meant to serve us and others in heaven.

I have learned to place trust where trust belongs. It belongs to a Heavenly Father who is the only one with all the answers. I have learned that some days that trust is all there will be. Like Noah, I just need to focus on the Lord and do all I can to serve those around me.
cjwsk12 1 / 4  
Nov 27, 2011   #2
I think overall it is a pretty good essay. You could add more to the second paragraph though, I think its pretty solid.


Home / Scholarship / 'To grow in my spiritual strength' - BYU SHORT essay: Describe a setback
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳