My letter to the Board of Acadmeic Standing is due at 5pm. I honestly need as much help as possible editing this because I'm not in the position to pay the Univeristy $30000 a semester. Any help is appreciated.
Here is my letter:
I would like to appeal the loss of my scholarship for the 2015 spring semester. I am aware that I am under the necessary amount of credits, but I feel as though the stress I was under was the major contributing factor in my lack of performance. However, I am positive that the steps I have recently taken and the changes in my current life will result in remarkably higher grades.
Being the first born of three daughters, I was always held to high expectations. My mother always strongly suggested that I become a surgeon or a pediatrician, and I had no adversities to those fields. As a matter of fact, I was elated that my mother believed I could be successful in such a demanding field. However, I did not have the same enthusiasm after I started my college courses. I found myself at a loss because I had never even entertained the thought of a different profession. So I entered a period of identity crisis because I didn't know what career path to follow or even which major to choose. Subsequently, this left me unsure of the classes I was taking and extremely disheartened. Going through this embarrassment alone may not be enough to reinstate my scholarship, but this identity crisis was only the tip of the iceberg that was my first semester downfall.
Another reason I was under stress was because I came into college without a working laptop. I had been under the impression that I would eventually receive a laptop from a family member and I believed I would be able to manage without it in the meantime. In the beginning of the year when there was suffering daylight until at least 7pm, I frequented the library by myself and with friends. However, after it began becoming darker earlier and my friends' schedules began branching away from my own, I had to give up going to the library for safety reasons. This safety measure became necessary after my friend and fellow CWRU student was robbed at gunpoint in broad daylight while jogging. As a young women, I try to take all safety precautions to avoid being robbed, assaulted or worse. Because of this, my phone became my main ally in completing assignments.
To add to my unexpected list of college obstacles, my two front teeth started falling out due to a prior accident from more than a decade ago. My periodontist, who is more than 400 miles away, was out of my reach in case of an emergency which did nothing to erase any of my stress that I was already dealing with. Most people, especially young adults fresh out of the judgmental high school atmosphere, have there own self esteem issues. However, I was not prepared to be seen as a the toothless college student. Biting into something the wrong way, walking into a door or an honest accident could have me toothless on campus without access to my trusted doctor. Waking up every morning and wondering if that would be the day my teeth would fall out was extremely nerve wracking. This however, was not even the worst part of my semester.
My mother's health was the factor that took me over the edge. During the middle of the first semester, my sister had called me and told me that my mom had passed out at work. When I had called her she told me not to worry and focus on my studies, but that did nothing to assuage my fears. I was so worried for my mother that I could barely function. All I wanted to do was go home and see my mom, but I knew that was not going to happen because I live 8 hours away. When I came home for Thanksgiving break, I almost cried. When I finally saw my mother in person, she looked like a skeleton of her old self. My mother was fairly athletic and had a strong build for someone her age, but when I saw her, there was no muscle on her body and her face had sunken in and she could barely lift a half gallon of milk. I kept asking her what the problem was and she wouldn't tell me. I automatically assumed she had cancer and I didn't know how to react. My mom is a single mother and we have been through alot together, so I have an extreme emotional attachment to my mother and just knowing that something is wrong with her is extremely devastating and it wrecked my concentration towards my schoolwork. So, if not for me, please, for the sake of my mother and my family, consider reinstating my scholarship. My mother's sickness alone could've ruined my focus, but when coupled with missing teeth, no laptop and an identity crisis, my mind was definitely not in the right place.
Despite the occurrences of my first semester, I have new hope for my future endeavors. Knowing about my new interests in healthcare administration and nursing has given me a goal to strive towards. I also finally have a laptop, so I no longer have to be worried about going to the library by myself late at night and I got my front teeth pulled. Even though some may think that is worse than having loose teeth, it is not. It provides a certain amount of stability knowing that you do not have to worry about about teeth falling out during class or in the dining hall, plus I have temporary dentures to use before I get my dental implants. My mother, even though she is still sick, is currently doing better now that she is on medical leave from her job and has the proper medication. Without having to think about these problems, I'm honestly excited to go back to my classes after break and show everybody that I refuse to let a bad semester deter me from achieving my goals. Just as safety measure to make sure I return to good academic standing, I plan to meet with Dean Mason and my academic advisor within the first week I return to school. In addition, I also plan to take advantage of ESS, my professors' office hours and SI sessions, because I am not the type of person to make the same mistake twice, especially when people are counting on me. I hope the Academic Standing Board will be understand the stress I was under, but also the determination I have to regain excellent academic standing in the eyes of the university.
Zainab, the first thing that the reviewer will think and concentrate upon in this essay is the fact that you have an identity crisis regarding your major. As you know, scholarships are given for a specific course in college and are not easily transferable from one course to another. Regardless of all the reasons that you gave for the decline in your grades, it is the identity crisis that will stick with the reviewer and will make them question if you are still fit for the scholarship or worse, if your new career direction suits the original scholarship criteria that you qualified for.
As for the rest of the reasons for your lack of focus, from your lack of laptop, to security concerns, and your mother's illness, all of these are secondary to the main reason that you fell behind academically. In all honestly, I would rather that you just concentrate on the academic reasons for your grade failure instead of mentioning loose teeth and your mother's illness. Mostly because those factors, save for your mother's illness could have easily been remedied and need not have affected your overall performance as a student.
Concern for your security on campus, the lack of a laptop, and an identity crisis are the more acceptable reasons for a failing GPA. Personal reasons for the failure in your case just tells the reviewer that you were not ready to become a college student in the first place. So if I were you, I would just concentrate on developing the more acceptable, academic reasons for your failure. That may win you more consideration from the review committee.
By the way, you should mention the new major that you are thinking of enrolling in. Keep in mind what I said about the scholarship possibly not being transferable so you have to mention that and explain why they should allow your request to change your major (if ever).
If you want to add extenuating circumstances, aside from the focus on your identity crisis, then use only the story of your mother as a representation of that. The only reason that I suggest the case of your mother is because the sense of family loss is most often considered an extenuating circumstance that could affect your mindset and in the process, your study habits and eventual GPA. The part about not having a laptop and fear for your security on campus are not exactly extenuating.
Not having a laptop and the security issue on campus are 2 things that you could have found a way to work around effectively. However, you failed to do that so you should find a more emotionally appealing reason for your failure. I apologize for not knowing that there are "special circumstances" allowed in your essay at you did not mention it in the instructions. Had I known, I would have suggested that you keep your mother's story immediately.
