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help me to read my personal statement. Welcome your critics, even grammars or phrases.


dooD /  
Nov 29, 2015   #1
I am writing this letter to request a Scholarship opportunity from TU Delft Excellence Scholarships. I have passion for a Master in Landscape Architecture, with the background knowledge I have in Architecture and Landscape Design, I strongly believe that this Master's Degree will be very relevant to my practice back here in my country Cambodia.

I completed a Bachelor Degree in Architecture and Urbanism at Royal University of Fine Arts, where it is the biggest and best Higher Institution for arts in Cambodia. The five-year Bachelor program has formed my prior knowledge in my chosen area. During my studies, I acquired all the essential skills of field research. Moreover, I have worked diligently achieve a lot and fulfill all of my university's study programs. Studying this field have provided me a deeper comprehension of science and cultural influences. I was very interested in expanding my knowledge in Landscape Design during year four, it allowed me to investigate about art, nature and culture to design natural. I am very proud that I managed to complete my studies, especially given that less than half of the 150 students who studied with me managed to complete the studies program, that was my unforgettable experience in my life.

After earning my Bachelor's Degree, I have participated in many different projects related to Architectural Design, Landscape Architecture and Urban Development, Hence I would like to continue my penchant for these fields. There are a few Higher Institutions that offer Bachelor in the field of Architecture and Urban Studies, There is no specific course in Landscape Architecture in Cambodia. Although I am working to improve myself in this field but I feel that, I have had a fair amount of exposure indeed. To upgrade my skill in these fields is necessary. Due to a small number of local Landscape Architects and the need of development in Cambodia, I would like to express my great interest in pursuing a Master's Degree in Landscape Architecture. I personally see that it is really important for Cambodia to have people who are specialized in this field to help develop the country. More than these, after carefully reading the Landscape Architecture Studies Program at TU Delft, I believe that the curriculum of this field perfectly suits my purpose of bringing profound impacts back to my country.

Growing up in a developing country, I always want to contribute to develop my community in a sustainable way. Studying is the most critical activity for me, because I need high quality of skills and abilities to improve my life and my country. I really wish able to continue my study in foreign country, because I want to broaden my knowledge, and learns new education system, so I can apply it back to my country. My interest in the Landscape Architecture came when I first involved in a Landscape Ecology project in a community. Since then, I have developed and inspired a great interest in the field of Landscape Architecture. The experiences I underwent through with this project helped me to truly determine Landscape Architecture is the right field for me. There are many reputations to study this course but the most important is my enthusiasm, for me I love environment my ambition is to improve or create beautiful green Landscape between human beings and the environment.

The Netherlands is a developed and democratic country, especially its highest Human Development Index ranks among the top of the other Countries, The Education Standard is recognized all over the world. It is the place where I most want to study, however I need a scholarship to support my studying and living expenses. The value of a Dutch University education can not be underestimated and will be an invaluable stage in my career.

I am very keen to be a considered for TU Delft Excellence Scholarships and grateful for the opportunity to take part of a Master in Landscape Architecture at TU Delft. I am optimistic about my studies in The Netherlands. I whole heartily believe the opportunity from this Scholarship. Regarding the benefit of this Master's degree program, I do believe it is a major milestone in my life that would definitely improve my knowledge and help me become an expert Human resource in order to develop my Country. Within my commitment, I am sure that I can meet all the requirements and would be able to maintain a high standard of study.
irfan727 49 / 68 29  
Nov 29, 2015   #2
Ok, Visal let me try to give some corrections on your first paragraph

I completed to(needed a preposition) a Bachelor Degree in Architecture and Urbanism at Royal University of Fine Arts, where it is the biggest and the(equally level with the biggest) best Higher Institution forof arts in Cambodia. TheA("the" is not suitable article in this case) five-year Bachelor program has formed my prior knowledge in my chosen area. During my studies, I acquired all the essential skills of field research. Moreover, I have worked diligently achieve a lot and fulfillfulfil(wrong spelling) all of my university's study programssubjects(try to avoid using the same word) . Studying this field havehas("this" is a singular) provided me a deeper comprehension of science and cultural influences. I was very interested in expanding my knowledge in Landscape Design during year fourfourth-year , it allowed me to investigate about art, nature and culture to design natural. I am very proud that I managed to complete my studies, especially given that(filler) less than half of the 150 students who studied with me managed to complete the studies program, that was my unforgettable experience in my life.

thanks, hope it can help


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