I hope to bring a new perspective to the men and women that I meet through the Marines.

Prompt- How might your background and experiences enhance the U.S. Marine Corps? (Limit 2500 characters)

As a female who grew up and spent most of her time with males, I'm not uncomfortable with them. Nor am I often intimidated. Being African American distinguishes me from my class mates because I am in the minority. I'm not uncomfortable with that sentiment because it means that when I make friends, it's for reasons other than skin color or gender. I realize that a majority of the Marines I work with won't necessarily have the same beliefs or background that I have, and that's a good thing. Everyone can learn a lesson from a friend or co-worker, and everyone can teach others something new. I hope to bring a new perspective to the men and women that I meet through the Marines.

As the middle child, I was the peacemaker. This led to a perspective where violence is sometimes necessary, but not eagerly used. I am willing to defend, and I'm willing to help. Both are good characteristics, especially when paired together. If I have a conflict with a person, I won't react with violence, unless it is to defend myself or others. I'm known for keeping a level head, and an even keel.

I am experienced with professional environments, and have no problem speaking in front of others. My schooling in a project-based environment gave me good collaboration and communication skills. I understand that talking in front of a crowd is nerve-raking, but that shouldn't hinder my words or composition. I love to learn. Whether or not it is something that interests me, I will listen, because it is something that I didn't know before. This is the unique perspective I can bring to the Marines.

IHaile, the narrative that you wrote is quite strong, However, I am unable to judge whether the information contained suits the essay prompt you were provided because you forgot to share it with us. We need to know what the question you are answering is so that we can properly guide the development of your paper. In the meantime, I can offer you a generalized review of the paper that may change based upon the prompt you are expected to provide.


- ... uncomfortable around them.


- As a future marine, you should never admit to having an Achilles Heel, which is the intimidation of men in this case.


- This led to a ...


- ... in a project... gave me...


- This is the unique perspective I can bring to the Marines.

Coming in with 1856 characters, you still have room for further statement development. So I suggest that you utilize the remaining word allowance to enhance the essay further. Is there anything else that you can say about your background experiences that might help to enhance your participation in the marines? How about a statement about sexual discrimination or the belief that women cannot perform as well as men in the military?

Perhaps you have experienced something in life that proves the level playing field for the genders? It would help bring a new perspective on the matter of women actively serving in the marines. That is a hot button topic among the military officers in general so I think a woman's perspective on the matter, based upon personal, non-military battle of the sexes, should bring a fresh perspective on the matter.

Whether you use the current essay form or add to its information is up to you. You make the final call. After all, this is your statement :-). If you feel comfortable with the essay in its current form then you should go with it :-) I'll be here to assist you regardless of your decision