Horatio Alger Scholarship - Adversity Essay? Does this answer the Prompt concisely?

Describe the impact your adversities have had on your life and development as a young adult.

My oven broke down last week. And we couldn't get it fixed.

This appalling tragedy may seem rather insignificant to some, but the sight of smoke pouring out of my family's steaming, double-decker, caramelized oven door told me that my days of eating perfectly browned chicken wings-were over. Gone were the Chinese sweetcakes my mom used to make with what ingredients she could scrape together. Gone too was the steaming turkey I would have had for Thanksgiving.

Though we later turned to the slow-cooker and microwave, mishaps like these are common. But, what my family lacks in resources, we have in resourcefulness. Last summer, my mother was laid off from a company she had been working at for more than a decade. Though she was emotionally affected, our family went on high-alert. We applied for aid and a few months later, helped her secure another job. Meanwhile, my grandparents' poor health and my father's medical condition further drew some of our resources away to take care of medical expenses. Rather than complain, I accepted the fact as is and made do with what I had. So what if we ran out of trash can liners? I used supermarket bags.

As adverse as life gets, I've decided that rather than allow my experiences to make or break me, I need to constantly look forward and cultivate faith, courage, and resilience. Only by arming myself with these qualities and looking for learning opportunities in every difficult situation, can I finally overcome adversity.

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This essay was 250/250 words.

@ipd117

You did a wonderful job. but i still believe you can do better.
For me i think you need to elaborate more on the lesson you learnt cos i seems not to locate any. you also need to work on the skills you gained and how it can help prevent the adversity having negative impact on you.

It was a nice essay, but I think you can do better. I feel like you didn't talk about how you coped with those challenges.

Daniel, don't discuss the title as a continuation in the actual essay. The title should be just that, a title to interest the reader. It should not be the introductory sentence to the essay. In all honesty, I wasn't impressed by what you wrote. Both stories don't really explain the impact of adversity on your life. A broken oven isn't really an adversity. However, the financial difficulties your family experienced in the form of your mother losing her job and the financial constraints brought about by the illnesses in your family are definitely obstacles you had to overcome. The problem, is that you discussed the growth of your personality as an adult was limited to only 2 run on sentences when it should have been covered by 2 paragraphs instead. The topic presenting your difficulties should have only been one paragraph long. The explanation as to how it affected you and helped you become an adult is what should have been the main presentation in the essay. There is still time to revise your presentation in order to make it better fit the required narrative. I suggest that you do just that.