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An impact (college application); Cite any cases in which you thought and/or made attempts in ways...

Moody 1 / 1  
Oct 16, 2018   #1
Please cite any cases in which you thought and/or made attempts in ways different from those of others and describe how such ideas and/or attempts affected you and people around you. (within 1500 characters/200words)

English began to appeal to me, even more than Arabic

Arabic is my native tongue, and it's the language spoken in my household ever since I was born. But soon after I enrolled in the American curriculum of my school, English began to appeal to me considerably more than Arabic.

Aside from conversing, my day-to-day activities were carried out entirely in English. I disliked having no one to speak to in English, so I was resolved to change this fact. The first step was to casually switch some Arabic words with well-known English words amid a discussion, words that even non-speakers would surely be able to grasp its meaning. Furthermore, I would watch TV and text only in English, since its more convenient for me. Initially, I didn't know that a decision made on a whim in my early adolescence and carried out for my own convenience had such an impact on the people surrounding me. Years later, my friends and I would only text in English, and my family would occasionally watch TV and talk in English.

It seemed inconceivable to me when I was young that an attempt I made to break the normal routine in our lives would've permanently had an effect on us. It appears that each and every different approach we take, no matter how subtle, would influence someone one way or another.

please give me any form of criticism, a friend of mine told me that what I wrote doesn't go well with the required topic. This is my first time posting here so excuse me for any mistakes with this post.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,356 3367  
Oct 17, 2018   #2
Mohammed, this is a very interesting presentation that you should try to further develop by indicating how old you were when you started learning the American curriculum at your school. More importantly, indicate if you were attending an international school, hence the English based curriculum. Clarify if you were frustrated that your parents did not speak to you in English which gave you a hard time in terms or relating to them and conversing with them. It isn't really clear where your frustration is stemming from in the essay so you need to clarify early on that this was a frustration you had when dealing with family members and friends. The rest of the essay will be clear after that in terms of meaning and the effect it had on your family and peers. This is definitely an interesting and relevant essay when considering the prompt requirements.
OP Moody 1 / 1  
Oct 17, 2018   #3
Thank you very much for the helpful feedback Holt! I will try to improve my essay with the your instructions :D

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