Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Home / Scholarship   % width Posts: 4

Implementation of the universal healthcare / Paul Goodman essay contest

cbsmallville 4 / 9  
May 11, 2010   #1
This is a scholarship that I am working on and I was wondering if someone could read it and criticize it and give me some feedbacks. I don't know if I am answering the question right. here is the question what is one of the pressing social and political issues of our time, and how would you address it? I would very much appreciate it

Implementation of the universal healthcare: the answer to our healthcare crisis

It's hard to imagine life without health care. If you are someone who has health insurance and you are sick or in need of a medical attention; you are able to get the care that you need. Depending on whether it's a severe or minor affliction, you can get the treatment that you need as soon as possible. Sometimes you may get treated in the finest hospitals by the best doctors because they are aware that you have health insurance. But imagine life without these luxuries. Unlike those who have health insurance, there are many people who lack it and as hard as it may be to believe, people are suffering because of it. Just imagine you or a relative become ill and are in need to be cared for immediately and because you don't have health insurance; you are left without care. And what seemed to be a minor anguish becomes severe. Now you are left with a financial burden of a major illness and we all know that it can be very devastating. I believe that health care should not only be offered but it should be made affordable for everyone. The U.S should immediately adopt the universal healthcare because it will benefit us all and make life easier for everyone.

As of today health care has become a controversial topic. After decades of failed attempts by democratic presidents; president Obama finally signed the health care reform in March 2010. Although I am glad that he signed this health care reform, I believe that his decision to sign this bill seemed to be pressured into changing things because he felt he has to immediately. Now we all know that since Obama became president, the American people have been anxiously waiting for some changes. I know the healthcare reform is a priority right now but it should be addressed carefully. There's no need to rush through legislations if we want this major issue to be unraveled; I would rather get it right then get it quick. I feel Obama just wanted to show that he is able to accomplish something in his first year of office. I don't know his reasons for passing the health care reform so quick but many people are more confused about the healthcare reform and are waiting for an explanation of what this bill is going to do for them.

The healthcare reform is supposedly trying to fix this problem and hopefully it can do us justice. Sometimes health care may not seem to be one of our biggest concerns because many of us don't necessarily think about the consequences of not having an insurance plan. But when something terrible happen to us, it's certain that we start to ponder about what's going to happen. It's safe to say that the question does occur soon or later, who's going to take care of me and my family? According to the U.S Census Bureau, people in the United States without health insurance coverage during 2007 totaled 45.7 million and in 2009 47 million do not have any health insurance at all. It makes me wonder how can a government of the people, by the people, for the people be responsible for this haywire; instead it should provide every American access to an affordable quality health care. By implementing a universal health care that would cover Americans and be palatable for both democrats and republicans; we can get one step closer to solving this problem.

The health care legislation signed into law in March 2010 was reported to result in an estimated 32 million citizens being insured by 2019. This wouldn't necessarily solve our conflict because another 23 million citizens will be lacking coverage in 2019. Although it's good that many will be insured, all will not. That's why the universal health care would be more beneficial; it would take the burden off the shoulders of individuals and be put onto the shoulders of the government.

The United States spends more of its (Gross Domestic Product) GDP on health care than any developed nation. In 2001, the U.S spent 13.9% of its GDP on health care compared to 7.8% for Japan. 7.6% for the United Kingdom and 9.4% for Canada. As for the life expectancy, America ranked 38. The United States ranks poorly compared to the other industrialized nations when it comes to health care. Despite the U.S having the best trained health care providers and the medical substructure of any industrialized nation, it receives more complications and fewer benefits.

If the United States continues to keep its health care system, it will result in debt in 2019. If the U.S expands some of its programs to universal, they can be able to lower their costs and cover all its citizens. The USA TODAY reports that the spending in 2006 represented 16% in GDP, an increase of 6.7% over 2004 spending. The growth spending is projected to average 6.7% annually over the period 2007 through 2017. A recently released report showed that the U.S spent 2.5 trillion on health care in 2009, that's $ 8,041 per person. This amount represented 17.3% of the economy, up from 16.2% in 2002. This shows that the U.S health care is doing nothing but causing more conflicts. The health insurance costs are rising and I don't think the American people are happy about that.

However the implementation of a universal health care would be the most efficient method of dealing with a health insurance or the united states would most likely end in a huge debt; something that we are trying to avoid at this moment. This method makes it easier for us to adapt to it because if the United States adopt the single payer universal health care, the costs would be lower than our current U.S system since the cost is low. Thenceforth the United States is already spending about $8,041 per person, by lowering these executive cost, it will be able to provide universal health care without increasing their benefits and still save money.

In addition, if the U.S implements this universal health care, it will give its citizens more involvement in the management of things. Many already feel that they don't have a say in this new health care reform that was passed. Well now the consumers and the providers would have a voice in determining the rates and benefits. I'm sure this system would be much preferred by the citizens of the United States.

Health shouldn't be something to play with. Our health is the most important gift that we have and if implementing the universal health care is what's going to help us have a better one, then there shouldn't be any hesitation. I believe this system is the answer to our health care crisis. Why should we wait till something terrible happen or a minor affliction turn into a severe one when the government can do something about it now.


TropicalGuy - / 1  
May 11, 2010   #2
Hi smallville,

Overall I feel your essay is well written and informative, but I think it can be improved in some areas:

1. Don't use wikipedia as a source. Do a google search limited to .pdf documents and you will probqbly find the same information you cited from a far more reliable and scientific source.

2. I think you could start your essay with something more creative, a hook. Maybe describing in more detail why you think the universal healthcare is really the most important issue we have.For example, you could contrast other issues such as crime and violence with healthcare, to put things in perspective (just an idea, you will probably have a better one).

3. Finally, I feel that in some parts of the essay you deviate from your thesis and spend to much time talking talking about statistics and the like (btw, instead of citing usa today go into bea.gov and get the stat from there, the original source USA today probably used).

Hope this helps.
OP cbsmallville 4 / 9  
May 12, 2010   #3
Thank you for the advice, I won't use Wikipedia as a source, also what you said about the way of starting the intro is good idea, I was trying to think of a way to do that but you just gave me a good idea. thanks again
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,324 129  
May 14, 2010   #4
All the stuff in the first paragraph is condescending and too obvious. Do you know what I mean whn I say it's condescending? The reader feels like you are preaching to her. So, instead you have to base your argument maybe on a philosophical idea that the reason we humans set up governments is to protect the people, so health care should be something attended to by government.

You also are up against tough opposition, people who say the government will muck it up and turn health care into something of shoddy quality. It is a complex argument you are making! I suggest focusing n a small part of it, like a philosophical belief that government should ensure health care for its people, etc. along with observations about all the scandalous activity of insurance companies.

Capitalize United States

Yeah... the argument is too simple at this point, but you could spend one whole day reading the various arguments. Google this:
arguments about American health care reform


Home / Scholarship / Implementation of the universal healthcare / Paul Goodman essay contest