leadership essay for Chevening scholarship
I would be appreciated to anybody who helps me. I really need your tips guys. Below is the subject of the essay and what I wrote. Please help me to improve the language and Vocabularies I used
"Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer."
When I was a sophomore in architecture, one day something special happened to me and had a profound effect on me. On that day, the architect who was my role model and admirer came to our college. He sees a replica of my project in the studio and asks other students to introduce me to him. 3 years later I lived in his office! Something bigger than my dream had happened, someone who had once been my role model had suddenly become my best friend and mentor. Not only was he great at his job but he was also a great man. The attention he paid to the children of his office, as well as the values he pursued at work as a goal, had a profound effect on me.
To appreciate the chance that life has given me, I decided to teach everything I learn to younger students. During my university days, I spent many hours talking about my young friends' projects. I realized that I could see people's interests and talents even better than they and inspire them in the way they aspire to, and that was very valuable and enjoyable for me.
At the same time, when I wanted to prepare a plan for the accommodation and education of working children with the help of a charity, the same young students came to my aid with enthusiasm, and an empathetic and successful team was formed under my leadership and supervision.
7 years later, I am now the product manager of a leading financial and messaging company. In this job position, I am responsible for product growth and development as well as drawing the vision. I have a team of 20 people for this purpose from different specialties, but according to the non-pyramidal structure of startup companies, I do not have authority over individuals. This challenge is the biggest task of a product manager. Influence and persuade individuals and teams to achieve a common goal, and this is possible only by creating trust, commitment, and motivation in individuals. For me, leadership and influence are closely related to inspiration and is one of the most obvious characteristics of a true leader, and I see this ability not only in myself but also in my purpose and mission in life
I also did different things during these 7 years. Shortly after graduating from university, I turned to filmmaking in order to connect with more people and have that desire to make an impact. At that time, as a director, I had to lead a team of people who agreed to help me without receiving any money. This issue also needed some kind of impact and inspiration. There, the story and script of the film played the most important role in forming a group. And I think the ability to tell a story and create a valuable perspective for an influential leader is an undeniable necessity.
After 2 years, I quit filmmaking because I felt that in the age of social media, the impact of video has greatly diminished. I came to the conclusion that as an entrepreneur and with the help of technology, I must take action to solve the problems we face. After months of trying to get acquainted with the world of technology, I started my first startup with a small team and realized the importance of storytelling for influencing and leading peopleHolt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The focus of this essay is on the emerging leadership and influencing capabilities of the applicant. However, the first half of the essay does not properly deliver thebl 2 ideas. Only paragraphs 4 and 5 show the potential of the applicant. The problem is that the discussion presentations lack a fully developed explanation of leadership as a team manager and influencing as an independent film maker. Seeing as how these are the 2 most illustrative sections of the current presentation, it would be in the applicant's interest to develop a 2nd version of his response. One that will completely explain the development of his leadership and influencing traits based on these experiences.
