Hi everyone, i would love if someone can review my essay about improving the capacity of Australia's education.
australia and indonesian language proficiency
Explain how the proposed activity will enhance collaborative partnerships with key institutions in countries of strategic policy; see (Appendix A in Program Guidelines.)
Describe how these partnerships will strengthen the capacity of Australia's education, training and research sectors
Outline any anticipated educational, social, economic or other benefits
(Maximum 300 words)
Along with United Kingdom, German, and Japan, Australia is one of the most notable country in Indonesia in term of education quality. According to Department of Education and Training the number of international students in Australia reached up to 800 thousands. The same data also states that most of those students are students in higher education level, and Indonesia contributes more than 19.000 students,
I seek to increase this number by improving Indonesian students' English proficiency. In my opinion as an Indonesian student, this number is somehow low, Indonesian students has so many potential to continue their study in country like Australia where education is one of the country's top service exports. The main problem for Indonesian students who want to continue their study abroad is their language proficiency, let alone IELTS, even TOEFL is considered a nightmare here.
In my experience there are too many students with high achievements and capability who can not even reach 500 TOEFL score, and most of them are afraid to take IELTS test. Some students also have dreams to work in Australia, where language proficiency is also a problem for them.
After achieving my master degree in applied linguistic and completed my future research about second language acquisition, I wish to eradicate this problem, hence, my goal to increase the students' English proficiency level in Indonesia, or at the very least in my district.
When there is an increase in Indonesian students' English proficiency level, we can expect an increase in the number of International students from Indonesia, this will benefit both country, Australia will experience a growth in the capacity of Australia's education, and Indonesia will have a better human resource by having more students studying in a country with great quality of education.I think you have included enough information or data background regarding the language proficiency in Indonesia, and it seems you may have gone out of the question. It may be on track if you really point out how the key institution in your country will maintain a collaborative relationship with the institution in Australia.
Hope that helps.
