personal statement for GKS 2019
I need your help for editing my personal statement for GKS 2019. I would be really thankful for your help . Thank you!
o Motivations with which you apply for this program
o Your education and work experience in relation to GKS.
o Reason for studying in Korea
o Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research.
I definitely believe that I enjoy programming and having eagerness to seek after knowledge, also I always wonder how can computer science ease human life. My country is a kind of developing country and as a student in this field I should try my best to provide a better and easier condition for my people and my community. As Korea is a country which has been improved in spectacular ways and could stand on its own feet, I thought with the help of this great opportunity I can learn how to promote my country and also even with the small role, I try to help other people all around the world. Moreover I believe that putting myself in unfamiliar situations can help me to develop myself and gain new experiences and I can find my hidden abilities better.
My first reason for choosing Korea is the relationship between my field of study and Korea. Korea is known for using technological advancement which is built most on computers so it can be an advantage for me to achieve practical knowledge and see pioneering companies and experts in this field such as SUMSUNG, LG, HYUNDAI that most of people around the world are using their achievements. Secondly Korea has fabulous nature that helps me to let hair down and achieve highest degree in a peaceful condition so I can concentrate better and my output will be more effective. Also Korea has the similar culture as Iran so I can cope with it better and my knowledge and interest about Korean culture and their language will be improved that can be beneficial for both countries.
In my opinion doing sports and some other non-academic activities can help me to maintain both physical and mental health, thus, I started to learn Taekwondo to have a healthy body and doing chess to find the ability to concentrate and think better. Once I got 2nd place in chess competition held in my university and in the following year, again, I attended in competition and I got 3rd place. Also in 2011 I took part in opening of international Kung Fu competition that was held in my city and I was volunteer to start the competition creatively.
Furthermore I took part in one of the Startup weekend held in my university that was a great chance for me to hear and get familiar with some problems and innovative idea and solutions about those problems. In this Startup I found the effective role of computers in solving various problems in human life.
It is nice to see someone applying for a computer science degree, because I plan to do the same.
I think your motivations are clear and positive, and the reason why you chose Korea is solid.
About the structure of your essay, I believe the last paragraph in which you talk about the Startup weekend could be moved to the same paragraph in which you describe your work experience and the web & mobile festival. That way, when you talk about your professional experience, it is all on the same place. If that paragraph becomes too big, maybe you could split it in two, in the first one you focus on your school performance and on the second one on your work experiences.
I like when you talk about the importance of keeping a healthy mind and body, because I believe those are things that can improve your academic performance and also make you healthy.
Good work and good luck !