I don't think it is very good please proofread this for my scholarship essay. I am scared and it is due tonight. The prompt is evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
It has to be 500 words. Let me know of any grammatical errors etc please. The indent doesn't work right sorry.
My mom and I are driving, yet again, all the way to Atlanta to check me in at the Children's hospital to get another scope. I was dreading the hospital visit because I always came out disappointed and handed off to a new doctor because they old one had given up on me.
The first doctor I was sent to was an immunology doctor who turned out to be no help. Turns out after my first appointment with her she would be going on vacation and leaving me with her colleague. It got even worse when I went to make my next appointment and clerk told me she couldn't get me in till next month. Luckily, my primary doctor volunteered at the same hospital and was able to move my appointment closer.
However, before I could leave I had to get my body sucked of all its blood by a lab technician. The doctor had checked almost every category on the lab sheet so she could pinpoint where there might be a problem. I thought I was going to faint when I was done.
The following month, my real doctor came back from vacation and said she thought it there might be something wrong with my liver. So she sent me to a surgeon who then sent me to have an ultrasound that was performed by very aggressive older woman.
It must have been déjŕ vu because he sent me back to my doctor. After the surgeon I had everything from a gynecologist visit to a three-hour HIDA scan and bone scan.
My new doctors were two gastro intestinal (GI) doctors. After being put into the care of these two doctors, I have had two endoscopies and colonoscopies along with many other small tests.
Now I was about to arrive at the same dreadful hospital to have, yet again, another scope done. The nauseating clean out and scope that left me feeling like my insides had been mangled by all my doctors resulted in disappointment. I was sent home with pain medication and the suggestion to see a psychiatrist to talk to about my problems along with the same speech I had heard so many times before.
I was back where I began; I was still in pain and continuously nauseas. My junior year had been replaced by doctor's offices and hospitals rooms Disappointed, I continued to smile like nothing was wrong, but I was missing my friends, school, and just wanted to go to prom like everyone else. I was resentful, but then I thought about all the things I gained from this experience. I gained strength and many people who helped me in my time of need. I remembered all the nurses and sick children who replaced my students of my school and the doctors who replaced my teachers. My lessons were replaced inspirational stories from other patients and nurses. This experience challenged me and taught me so much that I could never learn at school.
The first doctor I was sent to was an immunology doctor who turned out to be of no help.
It got even worse when I went to make my next appointment and the receptionist told me she couldn't get me in until next month.
The following month, my real doctor came back from vacation and said she thought it there might be something wrong with my liver.
So she sent me to a surgeon who then sent me to have an ultrasound, which was performed by very aggressive older woman.
It was like a déjŕ vu because he sent me back to my doctor.
I was back where I began; I was still in pain and continuallynauseous .
My junior year had been replaced by doctor's offices and hospitals rooms.
I gained strength and met many people who helped me in my time of need.
My lessons were replaced by inspirational stories from other patients and nurses.
You did a nice job on this, it was a very significant experience, and I'm sorry you had to go through it. You might just add a little more about what it has done to shape who you are, what you've learned from it all; suffering, patience, perseverance, etc. Good luck in school!
:)
