Here is my future plan for KGSP. please give me your comments on this. Thank you in advance.
future plan in Korea or another country after study in Korea.
During the period of three years as a graduate student, not only I will be gaining the knowledge from lectures but also experience the global diversity within the class as the class is comprised of students from different parts of the world with a wide range of business and cultural backgrounds. This will help me to enhance my awareness on multiculturalism. Apart from that, the high quality education, unique cultural experiences and both Korean and international perspectives on business and life will definitely be an upper hand in my future career.
Therefore, upon the completion of my master studies, I plan to work in Korea at least for two years as it would complement my studies and hence I can apply the knowledge I acquired through this program. At the same time, I want to show my gratitude towards the Korean government for giving me this precious opportunity. I also think getting working experience in Korea will be a good turn in my career path as an international business graduate. It will help me to put into practice what I have learnt at the university while expanding my knowledge on East-Asian business world in a more practical manner.
I aim to get employed by a multinational company in Korea such as Samsung, LG, Lotte and etc. Given my interest towards administrative service management, I will assist the company with efficient operations and services as an administrative manager. With the rapid change in everyday business world, it is important for administrative managers to stay up to date on developments in the business and office environment. Hence, I believe that the knowledge I gained through global MBA combined with my bilingual ability will certainly be beneficial for the company.
On the other hand, the practical experience I will be acquiring from working there will bear a hand in fulfilling my long term goal to be a successful entrepreneur after returning home. The analytical skills, the ability to oversee operations and effective people management skills generated by working with a large array of people as an administrative manager will lay the foundation to start up my own business.
Having engaged in my mother's dress making business has stimulated me to initiate my future business in the fashion industry. Moreover, my business mind has detected the business opportunity that has arisen with the wide spread of hallyu wave in my country. Besides it has made people into K-pop and K-drama, Korean cultural wave has also led people to embrace Korean fashion trends and Korean food. Therefore, I plan to establish an import and export business related to fashion industry between Korea and my country in the future. I am positive that working experience in Korea will be an enormous assistance in carrying out my future plans in terms of network building and saving money for future investments. I hope there will be flexible network building opportunities during the course of my dealings in Korea. At the meantime, I intend to strengthen those networks by attending business functions, forums and also through university alumni because network is everything in Korea. My prime wish is to contribute to both countries' economy via this business.
I am anticipating eagerly to get a lot of cultural as well as academic experiences by participating this KGSP program. I am sure this opportunity will definitely brighten my future. Thus I will do my best to help the society as well as to develop the mutual friendship between countries with a thankful heart.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,692 3498
This is an improvement but there are still throwaway paragraphs included. Removing them will create a better structure for you to develop your discussion on. Totally remove paragraphs 1, 4, and 5. These are not post study plans. Paragraph one goes back to the start of your education which is a useless topic to mention because the assumption the reviewer is making is that you have some solid plans for after graduation. Regardless of what happened during the past 3 years. Paragraph 4 makes references to your mothers business which had an influence on you. The mention about fashion and K-pop is also misplaced as they do not make reference to any future plans for yourself. Again, it is irrelevant to your post study goals. If you had said that you planned to manage her business instead, then its inclusion would have a purpose in the post study presentation. You should just use the part about how you plan to start a business in that paragraph. That is more related to the post study goals. The closing statement is not effective. The reference should be forward and not backward thinking. Think of how you see yourself as a graduate in the future and close on that note.