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International Development and Cooperation KGSP Letter of Self Introduction

JoyK 3 / 9 3  
Mar 7, 2017   #1
Hello everyone,
Kindly assist in reviewing my Letter of introduction for the KGSP

great opportunity for my career development

My interest in International Cooperation and Development career started years back when I lived near a refugee camp and witnessed their sufferings, and it evolved with time and experience as I grew up living in a third world country. My hope and wish is to become a global development specialist and contribute to sustainable development in developing countries

I graduated in 2012 with a Bachelor Degree in Political Science and language, and later on took a Post Graduate Diploma course in Economic Diplomacy from the Centre for Foreign Relations (CFR), to build up on my career in International relations and go with the current shift of emphasis in International affairs, from political relations to Economic Relations. To add value to my International Relations career, I also took optional courses in French and Chinese languages. With French which I frequently use at work am an intermediate speaker and Chinese I am a basic user (HSK1) but enrolled for HSK2.

This whole academic experience has equipped me with essential skills that have shaped me into a good leader, team player and optimistic and confident person who can cope with challenging situations.

After my undergraduate graduation, I had an opportunity to volunteer at a local organization, African Women in Mining Network. (AFWIMNTZ), a group of women making and selling coal briquettes. The volunteer experience built me professionally and personally as I expanded my knowledge and understating on gender and energy issues, environment conservation and the battle against poverty. With AFWINTZ, apart from writing a number of project proposals on environmental projects in an effort to minimize the use of firewood and charcoal in the community, I also got opportunities to attend meetings with entrepreneurs and big investors, on influencing investment policies, under the Tanzania Private Sector Foundation (TPSF). I also got an opportunity to represent the group in Post 2015 Development Agenda Consultative Workshop, "The Future We Want" prepared by the UN to assess the implementation of the Millennium Development Goal.

I discovered my potential in leadership when I was awarded twice for outstanding leadership in High School. In 2014 while working with REPOA, I was entrusted with a team of four research assistants to collect data for the World Bank Project titled Service Delivery Indicators Education and Health Survey in Mbeya region sampled schools, and we successful completed the task.

I have put into practice my leadership skills in a youth group in my church, first as a treasurer and recently as a chairperson. When I started as a treasurer the group of youth had no project at hand and it had no fund most of the activities were funded by parents and the Church elders. As a treasurer I initiated a business project, selling fliers with bible verses for the day and it has expanded from selling fliers to books, candles, rosaries etc. which has made the group self-reliant. As a chair person I coordinate the main youth activities. Our group does charity activities by providing clothing, food and moral support to the needy and sick. So far in one year we have been able to visit and give supplies to one orphanage, visited the sick in the local area, clean the beach area and organize two football matches with other parishes. Currently, my team and I are organizing a visit to the community of senior people with leprosy in Kigamboni Nunge area, Dar es Salaam.

Currently I am working with the IOM as a Client Service Assistant in the Canadian Visa Section. Here I have experienced firsthand how my colleagues works closely with migrants and refugees helping them with resettlement making it possible for the migrants to live a better life. The experience has awakened in me the desire to work as closely for the international community and my country. The experience has made me question my role in the community development and the potential I am holding back by working as a visa clerk. The experience has made me realize that I am underutilizing my skills. I believe that I should be out there involved directly or in direct with community development whether in policy making or implementation or designing development projects and programs.

The KGSP is a great opportunity for my career development and it is also the reason to why I chose Korea for my Master's degree. Acquiring a master's degree under the KGSP will build up on my academic background and sharpen my skills and knowledge. The program also will give me a chance to meet people of diverse experiences and culture which will be an essential asset for my career goal. The Korean language program under KGSP, will add up to my list of languages, it is useful in my career, as I could be the bridge between Korea and my country especially at this time where the economic relation between my country and South Korea is significantly growing, and considering the fact that Tanzania is one of the Targeted beneficiary of the Korean Government Official Development Assistance. And through this program I will get high quality and competitive education offered by the Korean universities. The KGSP will also give me an opportunity to get a firsthand experience of the rich and deep history and culture of Korea and learn of its success story to later apply it for the development of my country
Peaches07 5 / 20 6  
Mar 7, 2017   #2
Hi Joy!

I am really glad or rather happily interested in your views about life and wanting to do something to help. Coming from a developing country I can relate with this subject. Your essay almost covered all the requirements for a self introduction letter, however you will need to highlight and write on your family background i.e. What your parents do and how their influence in your life have shaped you academically to become what you are today.

I wish and hope you get the chance to live your dream - it's a worthy cause👍
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,199 4315  
Mar 8, 2017   #3
Joyce, it would be very beneficial to your essay if you can do a comparison of your course of life, meaning how you grew up, in comparison to the kids and adults who resided in the refugee camp near where you grew up. That would create an interesting look into the point of view of life that you developed because of the stark differences in the upbringing that you had compared to those in the camp. It would also create a stand out course of life opening statement for your essay.

As a PhD student, you should go way beyond the high school and college discussion for your essay. Instead, focus more on the relationship of your masters degree studies with your current profession. Allow the reviewer to get an idea as to how you have developed as a professional in this field, in relation to our academic training. So focus on the masters study but provide a summary of your college studies as well. The discussion you present should develop into a representation of the motivating factor behind your PhD studies. A motivation should go beyond a belief of not being able to achieve your full potential as a visa clerk. What is the the ultimate goal of your interest in PhD studies? How do you plan to use this training to become more involved in the field of work that you mentioned in the paragraph? What kind of community development are you looking to accomplish?

The last part of the essay is good enough a justification for your interest to study in Korea. At this point, I do not see any need to adjust that paragraph. However, that might change once I read the revised version of your essay. Usually, all points of the essay need to be adjusted after the first revision. We can decide upon that then.
OP JoyK 3 / 9 3  
Mar 8, 2017   #4
Hello Patience,

Thank you very much for your feed back I will see how i develop that part.


Hello :)

Thank you, I am rewriting and will send soon the revised version.
jc05 3 / 5 2  
Mar 8, 2017   #5

Hello, I find your essay really interesting especially when you volunteered for local organization for women. I hope you continue this purpose ion life. With your essay I think you can elaborate the course of life section so you can explain why it affects you view of life. Try to add more of how was your life and the challenges that made you who you are, life background.

If ever you pass and I hoping you will , I hope you continue on community development
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,199 4315  
Mar 9, 2017   #6
I hope you won't mind but I need you to revise the last paragraph of your essay in order to create a more impressive motivation and reason for your desire to complete a PhD in Korea. You mentioned that Tanzania is a beneficiary country of the KGODA and that there are projects ongoing in your country which are benefiting from this relationship. This should be the focal point of your discussion regarding the reason why you want to study in Korea. Explain what you know of the program and how you hope to be able to participate in this international relationship after you complete your PhD studies. This time, it has to be about more than just learning Hangul and building up your professional and academic resume. This time, your motivation should be to be able to go back and help the refugees or participate in relevant projects that the KGODA supports. Make a reference to the KGODA as something that ties in directly with your goal of study and post study plans in terms of helping the refugees and improving international relations in your country. The KGODA is a relevant and impressive part of your application information. Don't use less of it in the essay, utilize it some more to improve your presentation.
OP JoyK 3 / 9 3  
Mar 9, 2017   #7


thank you for the feedback.
Just to clarify I am not applying for a PHD, I am applying for a Masters degree. The Post Graduate Diploma in my country is less than a Masters degree but a bit higher than Bachelor degree. That is why I want to apply for a masters degree.

Below is the revised version as per your advise.

The KGSP is a great opportunity for my career development and it is also the reason to why I chose Korea for my Master's degree. This program is important especially now when the economic relation between my country and South Korea is significantly growing, and considering the fact that as of 2016 Tanzania is selected as ...
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,199 4315  
Mar 9, 2017   #8
I suggest that you explain that difference in this self introduction letter. When you say that you have a post graduate diploma, in most of the world, that is equivalent to a masters degree. You also made reference to the same in your essay. In order to avoid any confusion on the part of the reviewer, who may be more familiar with the more commonplace definition of a post graduate degree, explain that what you have should not be mistaken for a masters degree as this diploma is something unique to your country's educational system. I am asking you to do this to be on the safe side. If I mistook the meaning of your statement, so will the reviewer. I am here to make sure that you avoid such problems before you present the final paper.

Don't worry about the closing paragraph anymore. You were able to fix it with this revised version. The main concern that we have right now is the confusing definition of the post graduate degree in your essay. Once we address this problem, the essay should finally be in its best form for submission.
OP JoyK 3 / 9 3  
Mar 9, 2017   #9

Below is the revised paragraph with clarifications on the PGD thing kindly check

I graduated in 2012 with a Bachelor Degree in Political Science and language, and later on took a Post Graduate Diploma course in Economic Diplomacy from the Centre for Foreign Relations (CFR), which in my country's ...
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,199 4315  
Mar 9, 2017   #10
This is a very good clarification. It would be best though to divide it into a number of paragraphs. That way the focus of the reviewer can be properly targeted on the information provided. By focusing on the context of the paragraphs, the reviewer will get a better idea regarding the development of your academic profile which, by the way, is quite impressive. That is why I really want to call the proper attention to these portions of your essay. You can start a new paragraph at the point that starts with " To add value ..." That way the paragraphs are divided into relevant sections that are applicable to your essay response. The division of the paragraphs will help to create the final form of the essay. Once completed, you will have the final form of your response and can stop worrying about it.

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