Hi all,
Could you please kindly review my answer
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WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR PROPOSED COURSE AND INSTITUTION?
Joining the tourism community for over 5 years has provided me with both practical and valuable professional skills. It is not only my devotion to be a member of the QBB tourism management board, but also to keep up with the latest information. However, without sufficient management training, it is difficult for me to advance in my career path. Even if my views might be great, my voice would have less effect since I am not a senior manager.
Tourism was declared as a priority economic industry by QBB's provincial Party Congress committee in 2015. QBB has worked hard to market its tourism potential. However, the 2016 Vietnam marine life disaster has affected the province's recently developed image. As tourism began to recover, the COVID-19 pandemic appeared, with a more serious impact than the previous one, QBB was once again forced to struggle with the negative consequences.
The fact indicated that, during those two difficult periods of tourism, QBB province was quite slow in providing solutions in terms of adaptation and recovery. Therefore, the enterprises as well as tour operators, were facing huge problems due to not preparing themselves a sustainable development strategy and their ideology about changes was still closed-minded, paving the way for some tourism services organizations to go bankrupt within a few months.
With the hope of helping to make QBB tourism a success, I would like to be well-trained on how to carry out plans for sustainable management of tourism resources, reach research ability, and critical analysis of information, all of which are skills lacking in the QBB tourism management personnel board.
The Master of International Sustainable Tourism Management degree at Monash University, as well as the equivalent course at Central Queensland University, perfectly meet my ambitions. This education could train me to work as corporate sustainability planners, development managers, sustainability consultants, tour managers, It will also serve as a tool for me to acquire the skills required to combine PhD or similar degrees in relevant fields.
I am confident that the course and study time in Australia will provide me with an excellent opportunity to improve my advanced knowledge and abilities in order to fulfill the demands of my employment and my future career path.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The reviewer is not Vietnamese so you will need to spell out what QBB means and what it stands for before you go into an in-depth explanation of how you chose a course and why you chose the institution. Simplify it. Do not focus solely on QBB. Focus on how QBB influenced your choice of course, something that you failed to do with clarity in this essay. Remember that each masters course you have chosen for each university needs to be relevant to your career considerations. That means, the essay should cover an explanation that highlights the relationship of the courses to not only the QBB considerations, but also your academic goals as these relate to heightened career profile. The paper should not focus 80% of its presentation defining QBB and its needs. QBB does not represent who you are and what you believe they need in terms of professional leaders.
There is a need to delete this essay and write a totally new one. Version 2 should balance the masters courses that have been chosen, along with the university qualifications that helped you make the decision, with the QBB needs and your clear career positions, as these relate to the courses you have chosen. There is no such thing as an equivalent course. Though the courses may be the name by name, the projected academic learning and eventual career paths will vary based on the course focus. You cannot state that you chose both universities for the same reasons. That means you do not really understand the programs you are applying to. Something that the reviewer will take into consideration when deliberation time comes.
