I have been involved deeper into the processes that need more expertise - KGSP application

I am applying KGSP via embassy track. I would like to ask you to review my personal statement essay. Thank you in advance!

o Motivations with which you apply for this program
o Your education and work experience in relation to the KGSP
o Reason for studying in Korea
o Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research.

Personal Statement Essay - KGSP Graduate

I graduated from ___ in 2015, as a Bachelor of Psychology. I completed my undergraduate program in 4 years and wrote my undergraduate thesis in Industry/Organizational Psychology field. Besides attending classes, I also involved in several student organizations and activities such as student choir of ____, and _____ students community. I tried to apply some practical use of Psychology and research in those organizations. For example, I joined the team to make a performance appraisal for the _____ student community's board, and in _____, my team and I designed a musical workshop program for the singers and created a satisfaction survey for users/audiences of the choir.

Desire to develop my analytical skill about human behavior I have been working in a consumer research and consultant, called _____. I have been working as a qualitative researcher for more than 2 years now. I do day-to-day research management and execution. I'm exposed to many qualitative research methods, such as In-Depth Interviews, Focus Group Discussions, Home Visits/Immersions and Online Diary. Besides methodologies, I also exposed to many field of industries from both local and overseas clients. One of my reasons why I love about working in a research consultant is because I can fulfill my curiosity through my conversation with respondents.

Now I have been involved deeper into the processes that need more expertise such as assessing client's need and proposing a research methodology, data analyzing as well as giving recommendations and way forward. That is why I would like to continue my learning and taking master in Consumer and Advertising Psychology. I hope after I finished my master, I may provide better insights for my clients, especially by understanding consumer's psychological condition. This may also help me to design the research and tools used on the research to be more reliable to capture the client's needs.

The reason why I aim Korea as my next education destination because Korea is one of the countries that have the best educational system in the world. Besides, Korea is one of developed countries that is very popular now, because of its K-wave and its economic-technology development. Besides Korean consumer's pattern - consumers that are very responsive to a new trend, the fast pace of business makes Korea as an appealing target to observe and learn Consumer Psychology. There will be plenty reality cases to be discussed and learnt regarding consumer. However, there are not much university that have Consumer and Advertising Psychology major in Korea, and those who have it are mostly use Korean as the language of instruction. This is also a reason why I apply KGSP, because KGSP provides Korean Language Education too. It supports the students thoroughly to be able to study comfortably in Korea.

After finish my study, I would like to continue my career as a consultant, especially I would like to help Korean businesses to identify and understand _____ market well, when they wanted to expand their business in my country. I would be very happy if I can contribute for _____-Korea relationship especially in my expertise.

Your essay is very good but I suggest you to add more reasons why KGSP is better for your goals instead of the other Korean Universities.

@gmeigo9 thanks! Btw, KGSP is the scholarship program itself, not a Korean university.

You are right but I think that language is not the only KGSP advantage. For example, you could add something like KGSP have a huge alumni community which could help you insert yourself on it and make contacts... this is the ideia, explore more advantages to show that you researched about the program.

@gmeigo9 ahh I see, I thought you misunderstood it. Thanks!

Shafirine, since you are applying via the embassy track, you need to discuss the 3 universities that you have chosen to study at in Korea. Explain why you chose these 2 3 universities as the reason for your desire to study in Korea. Don't use the current paragraph that you have because it contains common information that is not really going to make an impression on the reviewer. If you use the 3 university reason explanation, you will find that your motivations to study in Korea also become strengthened by the discussion of the university and course choices. You need to strengthen your representation of your research abilities. The course you have chosen to enroll in is research intensive, so the reviewer needs to know that you have been prepared for that as first, a college student, then second, as a professional. These are the weak points that I spotted in the essay that, when revised, should allow you to present a stronger essay based on the prompt requirements.

Hi @Holt, thank you for your input. Will revise the paragraph.