'a job as a construction manager' - career goal essay for scholarships

I need to write an essay on my career goals for scholarships. This is what I've done so far...help if you can.

My goal is to attain a rewarding career in the field of construction management. I love to run heavy equipment and did consider attending Penn College in the operations major of heavy equipment. After doing some research, I felt that now, and probably for the next 15 years or so, operating the heavy equipment would be okay on my body but after I get some years on my body, I would rather be in the management area of the construction sites so I have decided to obtain a degree in Construction Management (BCM).

With the instruction and experience I plan to obtain from Penn College in this career choice, I feel that I will be able to achieve a successful career in this area of expertise. My goals are to be to plan and organize construction sites, prepare bid documents, contracts, and proposals. Another goal I hope to gain is to be able to supervise safe job sites and possess the interpersonal skills and ethics to provide the leadership needed in the management field.

I will be very focused in my studies and I am very committed to fulfilling my goals. To that end, I will push myself in all ways to succeed and graduate so as to fulfill my goal of attaining a job as a construction manager.

Greetings!

I think you've written a good essay! I made some changes for you; see what you think:

After doing some research, I felt that now, while I am younger, and probably for the next 15 years or so, operating the physically demanding heavy equipment would be fine, but as I age, I would rather be in the management area of construction. I have therefore decided to obtain a degree in Construction Management (BCM).

With the instruction and experience I will obtain from Penn College, I feel that I will be able to achieve a successful career in this area of expertise. My goals are to be able to plan and organize construction sites, prepare bid documents, contracts, and proposals. Another goal I hope to attain is to supervise safe job sites and possess the interpersonal skills and ethics to provide the leadership needed in the management field.

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com