I can do justice to the field ; Why I deserve Zion International Graduate Award

Hello, i came across a weird request on an application form that says - Please provide us your personal statement why you think you deserve the Zion International Graduate Award. Please limit your statement to 500 words.

So i cam up with this draft, that i hope someone will proof read it. Suggestions will be much appreciated.

The wide consensus that scholarship is a very difficult thing to get has impelled me to think about why I deserve Zion International Graduate Award. And I have come up with pretty good reasons for my belief that I deserve this award. Let me briefly summarize my background that motivated me to apply for this programme.

Despite of my parents' request, I left my hometown to study in the Neo city. After passing a very tough entrance exam, I got into Institute of crazy, Engg Campus and the reason being to join the only robotics club in the whole nation at that time. I participated in ABC robot contest dream cup 2050, earth-xmt and 2080, mars-olympus. I learned about embedded systems, sensors and navigation of robots while coordinating with other team members. My interest grew on the use of camera and I often contemplated on utilizing the huge information that it provided. I was particularly interested in depth sensing. That led to the application of stereo vision in my final year project "Multi agent based smart wheel chair ". The project was well received by the professors and the National wacko Authority that awarded my project with best project award.

During this period, I was granted with scholarship award by the government of vader. It was a relief which encouraged me to freely engross in my interest. But amid 8 hours of electricity per day here in republic and increasing responsibilities in club house for the competitions, irregularities were inflicted on my health and my academic records. Thus, I couldn't get the final installment of the fund from the scholarship. So I found a part-time job as a designer for the 3D simulation of deathstar hydro-electric project. Hence, I got involved in a job and a competition while attending classes. Nevertheless, I got a good lesson on managing my time and studies.

Currently I am doing few projects and studies out of interest on topics such as webGL and CUDA programming. Taking online courses and foraging internet forums have proven themselves to be useful but I find myself limited without proper guidance and lab environment. I plan to take my undergrad project to next level by making stereovision and mapping more robust. I learned through the universities' websites that projects with similar objectives are being done. Especially, the projects inside Jedi knights Lab directed by Dr. Ob one kaobi and droid labs by Professor ani kin skywalker are noteworthy.

I presume these statements hint that I am comfortable with hardships. I fostered my passion for robotics and computer vision even in tough times. My current job barely overcomes my family's expenses and neither does it comply with the career I wish to pursue. I am eager to meet and work with people whom I can share my interest with. But the financial constraints have put a barrier to my goals. If given the privilege, I am sure that I can do justice to the field that I crave to struggle in.

have more supporting details it is good though...

.... I feel this is not so strong as your opening paragraph, especially the ideas... I don't see much value addition in that :(


.... I feel this gives a better start ... :)



... I don't get you idea here :(


....
This deprived me of the final installment of the scholarship funds.
You write well :)