The KGSP is the only opportunity to reach my target- Self-Introduction

Hello essayforum members. I am very happy to find out such an useful forum. I am applying for the KGSP scholarship and this is the first time I am writing such kind of essay about myself. That`s why I need your help. I tried to do my best, however you are more experienced in this sphere and I will be greatful for your advices.

I want to win in this competition

I was born and raised in a small village and when I was a child, I never thought of leaving this village in the future. However, by force of unforeseen circumstances, my family had to move to the capital of Uzbekistan, Tashkent. At that time I was 7th year of pupil at school and this change in my life was a challenge that I had to rise to. In my previous school I was one of the most talented pupils and I was good almost at all subjects, especially at math. Now, after many years I realize what was the main problem of changing my school. I had lost one crucial factor which really made me develop, it was the factor of competition. As I am a student who can develop himself only by competing with others, I couldn`t find my place in the new school lack of competition.

After all, I finished school, then passed entrance exams to the Lyceum of Diplomacy with flying colors and there my real study history began. I found what I lost when I shifted to the new school and the competition among students in that lyceum was even stronger than I expected to be. I met a lot of new friends, who helped me with my studies. Before entering the lyceum I had never thought of studying abroad, but people surrounding me influenced positively on me and I began learning English in order to get a chance to study overseas. I was perceptive and by the end of the lyceum I was able to get 6,5 from IELTS and it could open the doors to international universities for me. However, I couldn`t afford myself paying tuition fee of international universities, that`s why I applied for national university, namely Tashkent Financial Institute . Even though I couldn`t study at international universities, I never regret studying at national university , because there I met people who became my soul mates. I chose the faculty of Financial Management, as I was really interested in finance and management. I can even say that it was my desire from childhood to study and work in the sphere of finance.

My interest in studying abroad never faded away, on the contrary it only deepened by motivations that I got from my friends who was studying overseas. One of my friends was studying in the Seoul National University and we always chatted through social networks. That time I started dreaming of studying in Korea and I even joked to my friend that perhaps we would study master`s in Korea together. However, during my study at the institute I met many people with different views towards study and I got a bit confused in choosing my next step after graduation. On the one hand I really wanted to continue my study, but on the other hand I was impatient to realize the knowledge I gained at the institute. In such difficult situations I often ask my teachers for advice and one of my teachers whom I always admire suggested that I took a year off to think what would be better for me.

After graduation I started working at college as a teacher and I taught students for banking and bank accounting. One of my favorite teachers always told us that in the future we had to teach others what we gained from him. That`s why I chose this profession in order to share my knowledge with students who need them. I liked teaching the students for banking, because every lesson I had to prepare for a new theme, use different methods of teaching and by doing that I was expanding my knowledge as well . However, I couldn`t stop myself thinking of studying master`s degree abroad, so I always looked for scholarship programs. In the end, my initial desire of studying in Korea overcame any other wishes of mine and I started to consider about going to Korea.

Once I decided to study master`s in Korea I began learning Korean language and currently I am improving it intensively. From my life experience I realized that a foreign language is the best key to open the door which leads to a foreign country. Because, if you don`t know the language of the country where you are going to , you will not be able to understand people, culture and lifestyle of that country. This is the first reason why I always try to learn a new language, the second reason is that I admire people who know more than 5 languages and I also wish to learn at least 5 languages, including Korean language. The KGSP offers Korean language course for its successful applicants and this is one of the reasons why I want to win in this competition between applicants.

To be frank, I am neither optimist nor pessimist, I am a realist and I can see the great competition between people who desires to be selected by the KGSP program. However, as I mentioned above I like competition and this is even the factor which encourages me to develop myself. My main purpose of studying in Korea is to learn about its education system and the ways of teaching students for financial subjects effectively. When I worked at college I enjoyed my job and teaching the youth for finance gave me a great pleasure. Since that I decided to continue in this way and in the future I want to work at the institute that I graduated. The KGSP is the perfect chance for me to fulfill my wish to become a perfect teacher of finance. My country and Korea are the partners in improving education system and my institute has strong links with Korean universities. Nowadays, my institute is holding Korean language courses and student exchange programs. However, in order to expand these programs we need people who know about both education systems and have a study experience in Korea. In my opinion this is my prime target of going to Korea and at the moment the KGSP is the only opportunity for me to reach it.

Akhmadjon, I know that you are attempting to write a self introduction letter for the KGSP application. However, you failed to refer to the content requirements of the essay while developing this draft. Due to your failure to consider the actual requirements of the letter of self introduction, you developed an essay that cannot be used for the application because it does not properly deliver the required information. What is the required information you might ask? Well you should inform the reviewer strictly of the following data only:

1. Your course of life, your view of life, study background, your hopes & wishes, etc
2. Your education and work experience, etc., in relation to the KGSP program
3. Your motivations for applying for this program
4. Reason for study in Korea

Your current essay seems to focus mostly on your education background and partially on your course of life. Responding to only 2 of the required information will not create the proper self introduction letter. Focus on outlining your response to each of the requirements before you write your draft. Strengthen your motivation to study in Korea to be more academic instead of social in nature. While the KGSP does look at your familiarity with the Korean culture, it is not the only motivation for your application. Develop a motivation that best combines your academic motivation with your cultural motivation to study in Korea. The reference to learning a new language is good. However, focus on discussing how learning Hangeul will help your career instead of merely mentioning it as one of the 5 languages that you hope to learn during your lifetime.

Create a relationship or progression between your college course, your profession, and your desired masters degree course. Most of your discussion in relation to these parts are quite vague and not really focused on the necessary topic. Properly discuss your professional background in reference to your motivation to study a masters degree. By the way, you need to mention the masters degree course in the essay. You can pick out your reasons for studying in Korea from this existing essay. However, you will need to write a totally new essay instead of a revision. The current essay that you have isn't one that will be considered a proper self introduction letter for the KGSP program.

Hello diplomatik,...
As the person who has same experince in you, i suggest you to dig deeper about your reason to study in KOREA.

The KGSP is the perfect chance for me to fulfill my wish to become a perfect teacher of finance. You should explain why korea will make you perfect teacher of finance. What korea has? Instead of this. My country and Korea are the partners in improving education system and my institute has strong links with Korean universities. Nowadays, my institute is holding Korean language courses and student exchange programs. However, in order to expand these programs we need people who know about both education systems and have a study experience in Korea.

@Holt
Thanks for your advice, I will try to make my self introduction more relevant to the requirements. But I have some difficulty with describing my motivation, as i am inspired by my friends who are studying now in Korea. Furthermore, i want to gain international qualification which will be useful for me to teach students for finance. So i cant explain properly my motivation.

@digaprasiska. thanks , you are right i should clarify why studying in korea will make me a perfect teacher. i will try to expai .

Consider the reasons why you wish to study in Korea on an academic level. Compared with the masters degree offerings in your country's universities, what made you decide that Korean universities will best serve your higher academic purpose? Foregoing the fact that you have a number of friends who study or studied in Korea, who influenced your decision, think about what other reasons you can come up with, if those people and their influence are not considered valid reasons for wanting to study in Korea. You will be left with academic and Korean social reasons. Think along those lines for your motivation to study and the reasons why you wish to study in Korea. What international qualification do you hope to earn after completing your masters degree studies in Korea? Think of reasons that will not relate back to the influence of your friends and their stories. Do some research into the masters degree you wish to take and how Korea excels in that field. That will help you develop a proper motivating factor along with more valid reasons to study in Korea.

@Holt Thank you for your kind suggestions. Very much appreciated.