KGSP 2018; program choice motives, family and education circumstances, valid experiences

First of all, thank you kind stranger! Can you guys help by giving any suggestions and/or corrections?

- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Family and Education background
- Significant experiences you have had; risks you have taken and achievements you have made, persons or events that have had a significant influence on you

MOTIVATIONS WITH WHICH I APPLY FOR THIS PROGRAM

I have a passion to know how different the outside world is from mine, and also have the desire to help and understand people by putting myself in their shoes.

South Korea provides very high quality of education to students, especially in the field of engineering. The schools, colleges, and universities are of extremely high quality, and students are of the highest caliber. The syllabi is up to date as well.

South Korea is an exceptional country, and has produced famous and top-quality companies, for I whom I want to work, and become a high ranking official. As my dream is to become an engineer, I am sure that by studying in Korea, I can fulfil it, and also be very good at it.

Another motivation of mine is because of the high quality of living, the cleanliness, and the great infrastructure of the country. The people too, from what I have seen, are very good, and I am sure that I would jell very well with them. Ever since I came across the South Korean culture, which even though has been influenced by the American culture, it still has roots deep into its own proud history. This was one of the reasons I fell in love with this country. Ever since then, my dream of visiting this country has evolved to it being a goal of mine by studying there. Studying in that environment, with high quality of research facilities, advanced theories and technologies, and a great self-growing environment, will definitely prepare me to become a highly competitive professional in the future. Since my childhood, I have wanted to study abroad, and my interest in science and engineering dates back to my childhood years. I always had been a keen child, and this has helped me immensely in studies and in life in general.

FAMILY AND EDUCATION BACKGROUND

My family is four-membered, with my parents and my younger sister, including me. My family knows that I am a very logical and straight forward thinker, and hence, they also sometimes take my suggestions in a few particular situations.

My primary education started when I was 6 years old, in the year 2005, and my high school education ended in 2017. I have always been in the top 10% of my class and standard, all throughout Primary, and Secondary school. Many of my teachers have praised me by saying that I could grasp what they taught very well, and also say that I studied for improving my knowledge, rather not just for scoring marks. I got 93.67% in my 12th standard (in Physics, Chemistry, and Math combined). I have been a high-scoring student all throughout my schooling years. It was a difficult time for me during my 10th standard; as my mother and father, both, got transferred to different cities due to work, and hence I had to live with my Grandparents. Even though it was difficult, I scored very good marks by getting 10 on 10 CGPA, and also got praised by my teachers because of this. In addition to this, I have taken part in other co-curricular activities like courses on astronomy, ethical hacking, sports (Cricket), etc.

MY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES

The most significant event which has occurred in my life was in Aug 2014, when I was in 10th standard, I was hospitalized because of Dengue. I actually was near my death. My blood platelet level had reduced to 5000 platelets per microliter. Doctors were on the verge of giving up, but I fought back, and recovered! This has been the most significant experience of my life. This shows that when life had kicks me down, I can fight back and seize any opportunity. This experience for me was an eye opener, and made me realize how beautiful life is, and how hard we need to fight for it, and make it very valuable, for ourselves, and for our loved ones.

Another significant experience, was when I scored very good marks in my 12th standard. I studied very hard for this. I actually stayed up the whole night before the Math and Physics exams, and was practicing the problems and working hard. I am sure that this experience will help me study smarter and better for my higher studies.

Sankarshana, your family background needs to be further developed to include a reference as to how your parents are an inspirational figure in your life. It would be best if you could discuss one or both of them as your role models and explain how they are one of the motivating factors in your life. That is important because your parents are the most vital character references that a student can provide. Your parents good character means that they raised a good child who will also be a good citizen.

While your motivation to study in Korea is sound. It also comes across as trying too hard. The motivation needs to come from within you. What is its about Korea that inspires you educationally? Connect your interest in this college course with some sort of Korean educational standard or technological standard that motivates your desire to be trained by the best in their business. Without the personal connection, your motivation is empty and just not enough proof as to why you would make a good student in their university.

For the significant experience, do not include the information about the 12th standard. The essay needs to introduce you more as a person to the reviewer. Your academic documents will more than speak for you as a student. So focus on letting the interview know about who you are and what makes you special. The Dengue story meets that criteria.

You are missing a reference to an influential person in your essay so you need to add that to the information. After you do that, you should remove the outline format of the presentation and smooth it out as a full essay format instead.