I'm not very good at writing, so i decided to ask for opinions and advice here on my Self-introduction.
The letter should cover these major points:
Korean Education Model Appeals to Me
I managed to write this:
My name is Stanimir Naydenov and I'm from Bulgaria. I was born in 1993 in a small city called Veliko Tarnovo. My mother is a high school teacher and my father is a university professor lecturing economics. Because of this, education is highly valued in my family and much was expected from me and my sister throughout our education years. Since I was raised in times of heavy economic uncertainty and crisis, I was taught from small to be a very kind-hearted person, to value modesty, kindness and honesty. My last 5 years of primary education I spend in a Science and Mathematics gymnasium majoring in "Informatics". After graduating I got accepted into university with my first wish - international economic relations, due to my father influencing me early in my life in world affairs and economics and reading similar literature as a kid. Since childhood I've always stood up for myself and for my friends which has made me have a diplomatic mindset. I have a high moral code and I despise injustice. My most valuable dreams are that I get accepted into the KGSP, majoring in economics, that one day I will become useful to society through the work I do, find happiness and have a home and family of my own.
I'm proficient in English and Russian language - I've worked in the USA and I've been in Russia on a language education program. I've been also studying Korean language in a few months and progress has been slow but steady.
In my first year in university back in 2012, I met an exceptional professor who, conveniently for me, had lived in Korea and participated in educational programs there. During his lectures he would always stop them and start talking about Korea as I listened to him in awe. He would always mention fun facts raging from how Bulgaria and S.Korea are both situated on the same longitude to more serious examples such as that Bulgaria should follow Korea's educational and economic policies, that we should also focus on technology and forming a disciplined society as Korea did. He would spend hours talking about the "Miracle of River Han" and how ordinary koreans abandoned their comfort in order to rebuild their country. It didn't take long for me to get attracted to this exceptional country and its people. Eventually I started researching possibilities of learning Korean language and luckily I became part of the Korean Culture Center in our capital and its activities. Around the same time I also discovered the KGSP which was totally unexpected for me and I made it my prime life goal to be accepted in it.
The KGSP seems like a dream come true for me. Its and exceptional opportunity. Only a few countries in the world offer such unique approach to education like this program does. In my opinion and statistically, the Korean education model is one of the best in the world and I would like to be part of it. For me, Korean culture has no equal in its diversity and uniqueness. I think I can expand my horizons on economy and relations in a country that is an economic powerhouse and has strong traditions in hardship.
Stan, your reasons for studying in Korea under this program are not very clear. As such, you were not able to properly offer a response to the following questions:
o Your motivations for applying for this program
o Reason for study in Korea
I think that you were not able to properly represent your motivations for applying because you did not really inform the reader about what course of study you wish to pursue in relation to your college degree or career enhancement opportunities. You should consider revising the latter part of your essay to specifically mention information related to that aspect of your application. Look at the sample essays here for this very same scholarship, those should give you a better idea as to how to respond to the motivation part.
As for the reasons for studying in Korea, the reasons you currently have listed are not impressive at all, does not really offer a familiarity with the Korean culture, history, or business leadership position in the world. All of which would have helped you to better explain the important considerations for wishing to study in Korea. Consider the masters degree you are applying to and how Korea has helped make its mark in that field up to the present time. Then consolidate the information you will find into a paragraph that can best reflect your personal interest for wishing to study in Korea. Don't just gloss over it, offer details, that is what is important for the reader to know about.