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Scholarship   Posts: 3

KGSP Personal Statement Public Health Bachelor


Jardies95 1 / -  
Sep 30, 2017   #1
Hi, this is my personal statement for KGSP ( Korean government scholarship) I will really appreciate your help this program means a lot for me
- Motivations with which you apply for this program
- Family and Education background
- Significant experiences
- Extracurricular activities
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opportunities in kgsp



My main motivation to apply for this scholarship is because my goal is to work in a health institution creating and overseeing health programs that will help to improve the quality of life of people, KGSP will provide me the opportunity to study a bachelorĀ“s degree which is not currently available in my country in universities with a high level of education and programs of study that would help me to fulfill my goal also through this program will encourage me to culture of other countries through the coexistence with other students, but also will allow me to investigate the main health problems in other countries, in addition I will be able to learn about the health system in South Korea and their similarities and differences with other health systems, this will help me to create better health programs that are tailored according to the needs of the population.

My family consists of four persons including me, my mother who studied chemistry in food and currently works as a supervisor, my grandfather who worked in a mechanical workshop and is currently retired and my grandmother is a housewife. Since I was a kid my family has always taught me the importance of education, especially because despite the fact that my grandparents struggled because of money they always made sure to give their daughters a better education.My mother has especially contributed to my growth as a person who can accept the challenges, adapt to change, competitive, dedicated to her job and accept the responsibilities.

My interest I science grow because my mom used to tell me about her job which motivated me to participate in science fairs when I was in elementary and middle school. I completed my studies at the National Preparatory School No 5 in the area of biological sciences, chemical and health.

One significant experience I had was when I participated in a summer camp, during this time I had the opportunity to meet a lot of students from Latin America and Asia, however at the beginning it was really hard for me to speak with the other students and thus to participate in the activities, but my friend from Ecuador helped me to gain confidence in myself to talk to other students despite the fact that some of them didnĀ“t speak Spanish or English thanks to this I was able to step out of my comfort zone and learn more about other cultures. The most significant experience that I had was when I had the opportunity to attend classes on public health and health promotion, due to this classes I became interested in the health system in Mexico and the main health problems in my country and how they could be improved through health promotion and health education programs, during this time I was able to work in a report the prevention of complications during pregnancy through the control of prenatal consultations, also I participated in informative talks about prevention of breast and cervical cancer as well as vaccination campaigns in a community. I would like to mention that a person that marked a change in my life was a surgery professor that inspired me to take challenges to grow in the professional field and as a person, but also encouraged me to become a leader and to work in a team.

I have participated in extracurricular activities such as recycling contest, Artistic Festival of Histology, Contest of teaching models in embryology, the festival of teaching models in logic, I was also enrolled in a photography club and painting club and participated in painting and photography exhibitions.

penahouse 2 / 5  
Sep 30, 2017   #2
@Jardies95
I personally don't think you have the need to mention about your family. You should remove that part as soon as possible.
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,618 1957  
Sep 30, 2017   #3
Sofia, since the discussion about your family is a specific prompt requirement, you should not remove that part from your essay. Anything that is part of the prompt requirement should not be removed. You may adjust the content if you wish, to include a description as to why there is no mention of a father figure in your nucleus family but you cannot remove that requirement. Your essay will be deemed incomplete without it and your application may not be fully considered if you do that.

Your motivation for wishing to apply for this scholarship is good but not very specific. Indicate what particular health situation you hope to address as a graduate of your chosen college program (mention that as well). The method by which your interest in science grew is shallow and not very impressive. Try to spice it up with some reference to academic accomplishments and significant training in the field of Science while you were in high school.

Don't you have a more impressive experience than the summer camp that you attended? Since it does not relate to your interest in science and health, the significance is lost in your presentation. A summer camp attendance is not going to stand out because from the way you presented the information, you did not accomplish anything of significance while you were there. This section of the prompt discussion is no longer related to your motivation for study. It has everything to do with your ability to perform and accomplish notable things as a student or professional.

Your extra curricular activities are even weaker because you only enumerated them but did not really indicate that you had a significant accomplishment, led a successful program, or won something while participating in these activities. From the way that you wrote it, the activities sound more like you just threw them in there, but you did not really participate in it.


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