KGSP-U - Study plan to Improve English and Korean speaking abilities required for University

I'm confident in my English speaking abilities, and Korean fascinates me

I'm applying for the KGSP-U scholarship this year and one of the requirement is an essay briefly speaking about your plans to improve your foreign language skills such as Korean and English. Please read and let me know what you think. Also feel free to leave ideas on what to add and take out.

As a native of a predominantly English speaking country, I am very confident in my English speaking abilities. From the time I was born to now, I've been perfecting my skill each day. Learning different languages is a hobby of mine. I've always been passionate about learning different languages and cultures. From Spanish to Sign Language I've studied them all at one point. However, no language has fascinated me like Korean has. Korean is a beautiful language that I've been studying on my own for the past 2 years. Learning a language like Korean is an amazing process, and every stage of it brings forth new challenges that I am willing to take. Like most languages, it takes time to learn and even after learning you can always improve. If given the chance to study in South Korea, there are a variety of ways I can improve my Korean by doing things I already do on a regular basis. Things such as reading Korean textbooks, novels, newspapers, studying with native speakers, using Korean SNS, watching Korean TV shows and listening to Korean music. Upon graduation, I have plans to teach Korean in my own country to those who want to learn. I plan to continue exchanging languages with Korean speakers as well. Teaching them English and having them teach me Korean. I will always be learning something new, improving and perfecting what I already know and teaching those interested in learning long after I complete my studies in Korea.

I re-wrote your essay so you check out your mistakes. I may be wrong about few just let me know.
... English speaking abilities. Since my birth, I've been speaking English each day, thus, have improved and enhanced my skills successfully. Learning different languages is my hobby and i'm very passionate about it. Korean is a beautiful language that I've been studying on my own for past 2 years. Learning a language like Korean is really amazing for me as every stage brings forth ...

Like other languages, it takes time ... learning effectively you can always improve. If given ...
After graduation, I have plans ...
I'm quite an eager beaver and I'm always intellectually curious when it comes to learning new things. I will always be learning something new, improving and perfecting what I already know.

Danielle, your response is too short and not very focused on the question being asked which is "How do you plan to improve your English and Korean language skills?" Try to take on a note of humility in your presentation. Say that you know you still have a lot to learn when it comes to the English language, even though you already speak Bahamian English, which is similar to American English. Admit that you are not a native American English speaker but you know enough to perhaps get by in class but still have room for improvement in terms of American English language use.

Do not insert any other language into the discussion. Focus only on the languages of interest to the reviewer. That is, English and Korean. You definitely need to explain how you plan to improve your English language skills even though you come from a predominantly English speaking country. You are still not a native English speaker and Bahamanian English will still have language and dialect differences from the traditional English language. It would be better for your essay if you say that you will focus on learning more about how to speak, think, and write in American English since this is the language usually used as the mode of teaching in a foreign language in Korea.

As for the Korean language, you have a very good learning plan that will be very well supported by the language lessons you will be taught as an undergraduate. I would suggest that you mention a desire to take the TOPIK and the score that you are aiming for because you plan to become a Korean teacher / translator in the future. Mentioning the TOPIK is always welcome in these essays because it shows your seriousness with regards to your desire to become fluent in both written and spoken Korean. Maybe throw in a reference to wishing to learn Korean Sign Language as well to replace the reference to Spanish and Sign Language in the current essay. Yes, I definitely think those additions will make this language study plan more interesting to the reviewer.