'That kid was me' - my 250-word scholarship paper

I know, I know-- the subject of this thread is vague, but bear with me.
However, my essay relates *somewhat* to this topic:
Describe your academic or career goals.

Without further ado, here it is:

There was once an eccentric little Cambodian boy. Eccentric in the sense, he wasn't quite the social butterfly... more like a wallflower, the kind of person who just sits and watches everything spin around him. He'd often get fairly dizzy from this. Regardless, he followed the same life philosophy like every other kid on the block, driven by a naïve pursuit for knowledge-he kind of just wanted to know things to know them, not exactly trying to figure out the universe.

That kid was me.

Sprinkle in a few rather awkward and uneventful life milestones, a considerable lack of explosions and exciting car chases, a little time, because time travel is always fun and here we are. Still eccentric. Still little: at a staggeringly meager 115 pounds, and an average height of 5'5. And most shockingly, still Cambodian. With eighteen years, I've been around the block a couple times, and well, my life philosophy has changed quite a bit; it turns out I actually want to figure out the universe. The Hitchhiker's Guide the Galaxy points out, the universe "... is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly big it is..." But the sheer sublimity of the universe is what keeps Science on its toes, a continual quest for discovery. So rather than idle in amorous wonder, I've decided to become a part of the discovery with plans to study Astrophysics in an attempt to "figure out the universe"... or at least some of it.

Although the prompt asks you to describe your academic and career goals, you don't mention one career goal until the very last sentence. More specifically, much of the essay has been about your path toward astrophysics.

It's an interesting approach to answering the prompt, but your essay doesn't address it enough.

** Please keep in mind this is an honest opinion. **

I failed to mention the exact parameters of the prompt, perhaps further knowledge of the instructions will prompt you to take another perspective, albeit I see your point.

"In 250 words or less, please submit an essay on one of the following:

1. Why do you deserve to win this scholarship? -OR-

2. Describe your academic or career goals. -OR-

3. Any topic of your choice. "

Under my own assumptions, as third topic allows for much freedom, I catered my essay to retain originality yet stay relevant in terms of the theme of the second prompt, so that it is not completely arbitrary. If the third prompt did not exist, then I would likely shift focus to my actual "career goals".

In addition, the scholarship application it does not explicitly state to mention the essay prompt within the essay, so I have no idea how they are to assess which of the topics you answered other than actually reading the essay.

Thank you for your comment.

It matches well with the third option. Plus, the format of this essay depicts personality, which may be a rare trait for people in the field of astrophysics.

Does it make you stand out, though? Although I enjoy astrophysics very much from a theoretical standpoint, my area of expertise isn't astrophysics. So I can't predict the committee's reaction. However, I can suggest that you keep in mind one thing: this part of your application is an opportunity for you to tell something not seen elsewhere in your application, if there are other parts beside the essay.

Thus make every word count.

The introduction of your essay seems a bit cliche, perhaps a theme that the committee has seen a number of times. This is further exaggerated by the line, "That kid was me." It is your essay, so they already know the subject is you.

Overall, I don't think the essay delves deep enough to show them the amazing person you are in real life.