I would highly appreciate comments on my essay, Thank you in advance! :)
Main: Explain why you are applying for this course.
1.Your academic interests
2.Why you have chosen this subject
3.What interests you especially about the course
4.Link these ideas to your chosen career
5.What are your particular skills and abilities that make you an excellent candidate
6.Why are you interested in studying in Europe / a third country
7.Why are you well prepared for living and studying in Europe / a third country
8.Do you foresee any personal problems (family / financial / cultural)
Please keep your text under 3500 characters. Longer texts will be rejected.
Experiencing various functions of a quality control laboratory has deepened my interest in analytical chemistry, regulatory affairs and environmental sustainability. My attention to detail and knowledge of international regulations have grown by evaluating imported drug dossiers and participating in corporate and government audits, all for the purpose of patient safety. Trained in laboratory testing and chemical management, my ability to foresee and prevent potential problems to happen enabled me to implement laboratory system improvements while undertaking special projects such as searching for a new waste treater. With a growing understanding of environmental issues, my on-the-ground experiences have reinforced my drive to improve laboratory chemical management practices.
Local laboratories need a license to operate, requiring a chemical waste management program following a cradle-to-cradle approach. While large laboratories have established waste management programs, smaller laboratories struggle to comply due to limited resources. Treaters are left to manage highly varied and unidentifiable wastes. I am confident with my capabilities and work ethic, but a ChIR Erasmus Mundus program would equip me with the best qualifications to address the problems of xxxx chemical management and wastes handling.
ChIR's mobility program and various modules encourage diverse discussions to generate broader, well-informed and sustainable solutions. My versatile laboratory experience would be a good foundation for me to engage actively yet expand my knowledge in modules such as Business and Marketing, Environmental Sustainability, and Waste Management by sharing the industry business processes and difficulties of a third-world country's waste treatment practices. Given Europe's robust chemical industry, it is an excellent place to understand chemical management and witness the execution of REACH and CLP regulations through the program's internship and research requirements. This program would allow me to gain different perspectives to address present and future multi-faceted problems while improving my communication skills, open-mindedness, and creativity.
To become more knowledgeable in the field, a master's degree is not enough, thus I wish to work overseas in other laboratories or waste treatment facilities as a researcher or consultant. Knowing the significance of laboratories in society, I hope to one day work with xxxx laboratories in implementing proper chemical management and waste handling to comply with government regulations while ensuring healthy and environment-safe working conditions. With sufficient resources and support, I dream of building a world-renowned treatment facility and someday teach chemists and laboratory managers proper chemical management implementation.
Whether studying at the world's oldest and most beautiful university in Bologna, observing nature at Faro's Ria Formosa, or enjoying paella and tapas in Barcelona, I look forward to meeting and working with people of different backgrounds yet similar goal of a greener and healthier world. Should I be blessed with an opportunity, a long journey awaits, which may be sometimes lonely, but there is no better feeling than coming home and lying down in bed and thinking, "Wow, I made the world a better place."
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It would be best for me to list down the points that you actually responded to with this essay so that you can easily identify which parts you did not address. You properly addressed:
- Academic interests
- Reason for choosing your masters course / motivation
- Interest in the course (although lacking a properly developed connection with your current profession)
- Skills and abilities ( that require highlights rather than vague mentions in the current version)
As you can see, there is a failure to completely address numbers 6-8. You cannot just mention the countries as if you were taking a tour rather than being a serious student learning about how these countries can contribute to your academic learning and its professional application. Neither do you actually qualify any reasons as to why you are going to easily adapt to studying and living in Europe. The last part, in particular, is very important for your presentation. So this essay, while lengthy and informative, is short on presenting complete information. Review the requirements again, revise the essay by shortening the existing portions to accommodate the additional response information.