please give a comment of how to improve this essay!, thankyou!
The Global UGRAD Program is for young leaders committed to serving their home communities.
Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?
Live next to the second most important city in Indonesia, people must be expecting a good environment with low poverty. In fact, the splendor of Surabaya on the contrary creates even more regional inequality especially in my hometown, Gresik. That condition push me to give more contribution to lighten up my community. Hence, I regularly involved in voluntary community services, which were sharing foods or other basic needs for people in need by conducting annual programs every Islamic holiday events. It is worth mentioning that involved in this kind of program made me feel good as it shaped me to be a grateful person.
When I go to the university, I start to look for other experience of voluntary by joining International Women's Day Surabaya to educate women about certain issues such as the important of digital privacy, women's mental health in pandemi, and education about the bill of elimination of sexual violance. Through this programs, I gain so much knowledge that I can share to my community from a proper interviewees. Those kind of experiences in community service grows my willingness develop my home community through my participation in Global UGRAD. Therefore, conducting an advanced support and education in certain issues to people in need is my contribution plan to my community.
Not just active in community services program, I often involved in many activities that help me to improve my leadership ability. One of the most memorable experience was when I lead a team to held a traditional colosal show to introduce Gresik's culture story entitled 'Sunan Giri'. It was not easy to organize more than five extracuricular and many other elements in one show but I and my team managed it well due to strong leadership and excellent team work from my team. Since I accepted in university, I also often enganged with various event such as student orientation committee, and campus exhibition committee. Through my involvement on those event, I learn so much thing about leadership, team work, networking, and problem solving
Beyond that, I always want to know how it feels like to be living in another society with different cultures such as USA. To pursue my curiosity about another society with different cultures, I usually watch many western series and movies to see the general view of its society. For me watching movies or series are tools to reach broaden knowledge and entertainment at the same time. If I can learn about another society and culture by watching movies and series, I will be happy to show how's Indonesian society and culture to American or other international friends by sharing my favorite Indonesian movies with them. Beside my hobby in watching movies and series, I also like to cook. I can cook several traditional foods, and I really want to share the taste of traditional foods to them as my contribution to this program.
Therefore, I believe my experiences in community service, my potential leadership ability, and my interest in cultural things such as movies, series, and food would set me to be a good participant in Global UGRAD. By joining this program, I am sure I will gain so much thing academically, socially and culturally that would bring a big contribution to my future and my community future. I believe there are no other programs that will bring me to self development along along with my community. Finally, I will come back to my country with a hand full of knowledges and experiences to share with everyone. .
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447
Remove the reference point about how you are familiarizing yourself with American culture. That is not part of the community leadership discussion. It is irrelevant and does not have a place in this discussion. You will have to create a new conclusion that focuses on your leadership abilities, accomplishments, and leadership style instead to create a better summation of the previous discussion.
The extra curricular club activity that you led is not one that will impress the reviewers. This is a group activity that had to do with dance as a program or show. You are being asked to justify your leadership abilities based on how your project or team effort led to an improvement or change in the lives of the people residing in the community. That part is not represented at all in this presentation. So I cannot really say that you were able to portray yourself as a community leader based on the discussion requirements.