about my skills and traits as a leader
I much appreciate for your time consuming on this essay. Please give me your suggestion how to improve my essays for this scholarships.
The prompt is
Chevening is looking for individuals who will be future leaders or influencers in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.
(minimum word count: 100 words, maximum word count: 500 words)
Leadership and influencing skills are distinct characteristics of all creatures. However, not all people occupy such kind of skills. From working together with my peer group, I realized myself that I have the ability to lead people. Starting from that time, I dedicated myself to experience leadership skills from my working environment. My passion and practical pursuit of learning could make my current job perfect.
All students had to conduct a research group by group in order to receive a bachelor degree conferred by the University. I took a role as leader in my group including twelve members. We all are same in age group. However, our local contexts are different. At first, I encountered a situation, couldn't engage them for assembly to discuss on research protocol because they recognized the leader would take these responsibility, which undermines me to hold my designation. I must need to learn more about them to know as much exactly as which one has what kind of mindset and behavior during protocol stage. After knowing to some extent, I could lead my group by using democratic leadership style. We worked together our best with compromising between us. I took care of them as parents did their children and they also behaved as I did. By carrying them, my group was awarded a special prize on research by research committee. I acknowledged myself to my leadership skills by seeing the impact that I had obtained.
Based on my leadership experience gaining from my academic year, I adopted practically it in my former and current working environment by weighing strength and weak points of mine. After completing University-hood, very first professional job started in Ponnagyun Township in Rakhine State. I worked as a Community Facilitator under the Tuberculosis active case finding project and supervised (30) local volunteer for six months. In that time, my age is 22 and I couldn't balance to control all of them. Three people out of thirty who have uncountable experience could make my professional capacity strengthen. They did as they love to do, they didn't listen to my suggestion, they didn't report timely, and they also opposed my planning. I, therefore, deemed for intensive training regarding behavior change. My assumption might not be wrong that ability of influencing people actually comes from remembrance of people. My working duration is over three years counting back at present. Until now, those volunteer are keeping in touch with me for many reasons.
My practical leadership skills polished me to contribute to improve my country public health ranking in ASEAN Region in future. I strongly believe I could learn various leadership and influencing skills of different international people from different countries. For that matter, I am applying to these scholarships. By combination my existing knowledge and practical maneuver with the experience came from the foreign scholars, I firmly assure I will help support not merely to my junior and senior public health practitioners but also to my nation building process as a public health professional.@mko
Hi there, dear! Welcome to the forum. As always, we're always glad to have more people here. I hope this feedback suits your needs.
Firstly, while the first paragraph was cutting through the minimum requirements that you need, I do find that you need to work on packaging your writing in a way that would add more flair to it. For instance, instead of mentioning merely how much leadership has been important to you, talk more about how critical your role is in writing. If you do this, you'll be able to foster a better written approach.
Furthermore, there's so much unnecessary weight on the second paragraph. I recommend trimming it down in terms of length to ensure that it would be easier for readers.
