Hi Guys,
I would like to apply for Chevening scholarship next year and really hope to receive your feedback on my essays.
Your correction is much important to me. Thank you very much in advance and nice day to all!
Cheers,
TH
1. Chevening is looking for individuals that will be future leaders or influencers ...
I can not agree more with John Donahoe that leadership is a journey, not a destination. It is a marathon, not a sprint. It is a process, not an outcome. It is essential to learn how to adapt to changes, to sharpen our skills through challenging ourselves in each phase of life and career path and learning from our failure to keep us moving forward. I started my journey in university by being Vice president of Youth Union and Event Committee. Being a leader, I learnt how to encourage members to raise up their voices and ideas, allocate resources, push team to move ahead and investigate our strengths and weaknesses to improve. In class assignments and presentations, I usually was the leader to help them develop in their turns since I had experience from my extra activities. I also kept in touch with Youth Union in my hometown, Binh Duong province to work together on community activities and was one of chosen delegate to welcome VIP guest, investors seeking investment opportunity to our promising land for business and also core member in exchange program to promote our history, culture, people and opportunity to work with us.
After graduated, I joined XLE Group, the very first professional sport company and the pioneer investing in basketball to Vietnam. I was trained by an amazing mentor which a good leadership skills. She equipped me with essential skill set to broaden my business angle and gave me chances to experience hands-on tasks handling directly with partners and staff and solving problems when applicable. She inspired me to be a good leader who can drive team to achievement. After apprentice time with her, I was confident to lead my team to prepare proposals, brainstorm ideas for sales packages, liaise with other departments to operate. My fully-controlled project is JrNBA, a youth basketball program conducted in South East Asia by NBA to create a playing ground for adolescent and popularize this amazing sport. With experience from the first season, I completely led my team in second season from making action plan, contacting schools to promote programs, organizing activation events, driving and conveying messages to operation team, working with sponsors and partners to evaluating post program. Some of my staff were able to work independently later-on which made me motivated.
A new journey came to me when I joined SEAL and challenged in new field, relocation as PR and Sales Manager. I led team to find the best way to approach new customers by giving them stimulating ideas, encouraging them to think out of the box, then combining into a practical and efficient plan. Once having any problems or being in need of advice, I helped to figure out where the problems came from, listened to their explanations and contributed my opinion what need to be improved.
I will never stop learning and improving my skills and continuing advanced study overseas will be a huge jumps for me to practice these skills in international and multicultural environment.
One essay at once please
Hi Trang,
As I read your answers, I find something that you are already has numerous of ideas that ready to reveal and develop, and of course that is really great.
Your writing at the bottom line is good, bu in order to give you more powerful answers you may need to pay more attention to your ideas management, as it will be nice when it flow smoothly with a wonderful cohesion and coherence.
In addition, related with the grammar, here some suggestions for you:
I can not agree more with John Donahoe ...
My suggestion:
I cannot agree anymore with John Donahoe, he stated that leadership is a journey, not a destination.
... learn how to adapt toward changes,...
... learnt how to encourage the members to raise up ...
I usually was the leader to help ...
My suggestion:
I used to be the leader that help them to develop their turns...
Good luck
