I would appreciate any form of correction on my essay.
Study plans to improve foreign languages (Korean, English, etc.) required for taking a degree course BEFORE and AFTER you come to Korea.
LANGUAGE STUDY PLAN
Just as Abraham Lincoln said "Always bear in mind that your resolution to succeed is more important than any other", having the determination to succeed in life is already a big step you will take towards achieving your dreams and goals. I speak three languages; Fante being my native language, English being my country's official language, and Twi, which is a sister language to my mother tongue. Learning another language has its difficulties, but achieving this will be less difficult with determination and a goal. I got interested in learning the Korean language because it sounded pleasing to my ears the first time I watched a K-drama around 2010. But learning the language around that time was difficult, as the exposure to learning was very little in my country. As a young girl with little knowledge concerning international education, it was extremely difficult for me to access learning materials. Nevertheless, if I am given this opportunity, I will like to fully learn and develop my Korean skills within the 5 years study period this program offers. My study plan before and after coming to South Korea are:
BEFORE COMING TO SOUTH KOREA
·I am learning how to read, write and speak in Hangeul by using the King Sejong Institute website, watching Talk to Me in Korean YouTube videos, Korean class 101, and other Hangeul teaching videos. I will continue to use this mode of learning, as it has proven effective with how fast I memorized Hangeul in a short period.
·Every time I see something written in Hangeul, I challenge myself to read it out.
·I try to memorize at least four simple but useful Korean phrases every three days.
·Practice my reading and listening skills through watching Korean shows with Korean subtitles.
·Practice with TOPIK past questions through the TOPIK website.
·I will be taking the King Sejong level test to know how much I have improved in the language after every three months.
·I always try to connect with native speakers through a language exchange app, by offering to teach them English in exchange for them to help me with Korean.
AFTER COMING TO SOUTH KOREA
·After enrolling at my language school, I will check my class schedule to identify the free time I will have to start my self-study plan.
·Find out if my language school offers a Korean Buddy program in which I can do one-on-one language exchange with a Korean.
·Obtain a TOPIK level 3 within the first 6 months of my language training.
·Memorize at least 4 words and phrases related to my field of study every day.
·Join Korean language study groups to improve my speaking skills.
·Read Korean novels, articles, and books related to my field of study.
·Choose good Korean dramas, variety shows, songs, and listen to the news to learn useful Korean expressions from it.
·Actively participate in class to boost my confidence in speaking Korean.
·Obtain a TOPIK level 4/5 within the next six months of my language study program.
·I will continue my Korean language studies during my degree program.
·I will continue to use the King Sejong website to further improve my speaking.
·I will join a buddy program if my university offers them, and take one-on-one language exchange lessons with a native speaker.
·Obtain a TOPIK level 6 in the second year of my degree program.
·I will continue to use the Korean language after my degree program.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 13,028 4247
The introduction paragraph is not necessary in this instance. The applicant is over extending the presentation for no reason. Since there are innumerable applicants to the GKS scholarship each cycle, the reviewers appreciate language study plans that are conversational, concise, and on point. Directed responses gain their attention far better than this type of long winded, unfocused format presentations. Ordinarily, a simple discussion tone is more informative than this current format. The conversational explanation helps the reviewers better assess the language skills and continued development plans of the applicant. I realize that it is simpler for the writer to use an outline form for the presentation. However, the bullets do very little to provide any assessment relevant information either than topics that come across as ideas rather than actual study plans that are already in play (before coming to Korea) or will be in play (after arrival in Korea).
Your essay is quite impressive to me, to be honest, the bullet points gave me a very organized feeling! I would say to use more complex structures but all in all, it is still a great paragraph :) Keep it up