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Your life speaks who you are! Describe your family, community and how they have shaped who you are.


junnielee 1 / 1  
Sep 20, 2016   #1
There is a saying "Let your life speak". Describe the environment in which you were raised, your family, home, community you have lived in and how they have shaped who you are today.

I was originally born in Hai Phong, one of the largest port cities in Vietnam. But in 2001, my family moved to Ho Chi Minh City - an urban city where everybody is always busy with their own business and life. Having quite elder parents than my friends, since I was little, I have been told historical stories and from their words, I can imagine how devasting it was than any history lessons I have learned: the bodies filled the street, the sound of B-52s and the smell of smog spreaded all over the air. I was born by a man who used to go to the battlefield and backed home with scars, and a woman who spent all of her childhood to survive in war. I am proud of the fact that I am the two brave people's child, and I can feel the bravery, unyieldingness and the powerful spirit inside me every moment I am with my family. But not because of their past, I was grown up with an image of disastrous and dire war. With all the love and care I have received from my family and the understanding of their stories, I believe I know how to replace those memories by warm-heartedness. At quite a young age, I had realized that my family always came first and is the most important part of my life. No matter how much homework I have, I always prioritize myself to help my family in every possible way, whether it is just sweeping the floor or peeling the fruits for dessert. In the crowdest city of Vietnam, when others are caring about the latest style of clothes or a brand new kind of cosmetic products, I enjoy standing by my family more, where I was raised and always support me regardless of any unpredictable situations.

Until now, I have not got any chances to have an excursion with my family. But not because of that, my life is a boring story. I can feel the joy when I am at school, with my beloved friends. Not only giving me priceless moments when I go to school, we enjoy sharing and discussing with each other about everything. What I remember the most was a history period, when we were having a discussion and it turned out to be a debating tournament about a topic of the ancient development of humans. In the end, there was no losing or winning team, but personally I have learned a lot by their different and interesting thoughts, and also learned to respect and listen to every individuals' opinions, because they might be another demension of thinking that could inspired and impacted the topic distinctly.

Living in a dynamic and open-minded environment, I was able to join many different kinds of activities. Having the chances to attend in a lot of events, meet and surrounding by talented people who ready to contribute their time, effort and youth to the society in the happiest way ever, I found it so inspiring and respectable. Even though balancing between school and extracurricular activities is difficult, I want to follow my desire to learn and experience more. And now I am walking in the same path as them: enjoy every helpful moments in the most joyful way.

Please help me with any grammar corrections or vocabulary replacements. Thank you so much!
kiki23 37 / 64 4  
Sep 20, 2016   #2
Hi! I have some feedback for you:

But in 2001 I do not think you should use "but", because it use for explaining opposition of something. However, you are just adding some opening information. So it should be:

In 2001...,an urban city where everybody...

I was born by a man who used you can eliminate "who", so it should be

I was born from a man used...

a woman who spent all... should be

a woman spent all...
OP junnielee 1 / 1  
Sep 21, 2016   #3
Thank you so much for your correction! If you have any advices or ideas that can improve, please tell me!


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