Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width Posts: 2


'my life and the transition' - A&M Personal Essay - Scholarship Application


Pauly Wally 1 / 1  
Oct 21, 2011   #1
There may be personal information that you want considered as a part of your
application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include
exceptional hardships, challenges, or personal responsibilities that have
shaped or impacted your abilities, academic credentials, or educational goals.

~~

Age five. Screaming and crying. Dropped the vase I was trusted to move to my
mother's room.
Age six. Asked to help mom cook dinner. No, cutting the watermelon wasn't
allowed, but peeling potatoes was.
Age eight. New elementary school. Primarily Hispanic. Out of place.
Age nine. Trusted to do lawn work. Not allowed to mow the lawn, but trimmed the
hedges.
Age ten. Trouble dealing with social barriers in school.

These are six extremely important years of my life. Each year outlines a memory
I can remember very clearly, and now that I reflect back, each year has
influenced how I function today.

Honestly, I don't mean this in any way to be a braggart, but at least in
elementary I have never had trouble academically. I've always understood what
the teachers were saying, especially regarding mathematics. I even understood
multiplication and division from as early as kindergarten. The point is:
academics hasn't really been a struggle, and its something I tend to take for
granted. Academic challenges (or lack of) have been limited to TAKS testing and
conduct grades in these early years, and have shaped me just as much as the
responsibilities my mother has placed on me in these early years. There is no
way I could have handled what I do now in my church and community if my mom
babied me and just let me veg out on the couch at this point in time. Some
things as simple as being TRUSTED to move a vase, to peel a potato or trim a
bush have infused in my lifestyle the understanding of responsibilities and
service.
I mentioned social barriers that existed in elementary. To put it as
simply as possible, 98% of the population I lived in at the time was Hispanic.
I'm white. That puts me in the minority group. Not only that, but my social
skills weren't all that great. I tried and tried to fit in only to be pushed
out of the "cool" huddle. It was hard and depressing, and I simply didn't want
to exist at school. Invisibility was all the rage on the "I want" list.
Basically I was a sad depressed child who couldn't wait to make his first
friend.

Age 11. Quiet year. Usual responsibilities, moved to middle school. Still a
minority.
Age 12. Moved to a different district. New start. Made friends. Total
turnaround
Age 13. The "awkward years". Transition from being afraid to outgoing. New
district. New goals.
Age 14. High school starts. Introduction to the level of work that is expected.
New ground
Age 15-17. Sophomore, junior, senior years in high school. Responsibility
dramatically increases, academic difficulty is more engaging as well.

The transition to middle school is what really put "me" back in "me. I was
myself because I was able to escape being victimized. I made my first actual
friend in 7th grade, and 8th grade I came out of my little shell. Fast forward
to high school. I'm in what feels like still a new district with much higher
standards than my elementary years, and as I'm being told by upper class-man
how hard it is its hard to grasp. I joined a golf team, but didn't take it too
seriously. The past three years of high school have been a totally new standard
that would never have been heard of in my old district. I got a job, became the
captain of a swim team among other extra curricular activities. I've always
loved water and developed one of the fastest improved times on the team with a
natural talent that wouldn't have been found otherwise. It was like a "gradual
shock" I suppose in to a different life. This transition needs to be emphasized
because this is where I picked up the desire to simply... try!
I didn't quite realize it at the time, but all those years of feeling like
I was held back suddenly erupted in this new environment. I wanted to give my
best in all I did. The friends I had I wouldn't let go of, and I developed a
sensitivity to needs in my community. Two things that have not changed,
however, are the desires to serve in the military and to be a structural
engineer. All that happened was my educational goals and my standards for both
have been dramatically increased.
So in a nutshell this brings you through my life and the transition that
fired up my desire and brought to light abilities I have and goals I would like
to achieve.

~~

I know its lengthy, and I was having a hard time finding the line between too personal of an essay and answering the prompt. Anyways this is it :) please hit me as hard as you can with constructive criticism. I'm not much of a critic but I'll review yours as long as you post a link to comments.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Oct 22, 2011   #2
Each year outlines a memory I can remember very clearly.andnow that I reflect back, each year hasWhen I analyse them I see how profoundly they influenced shapinghow I functionof my character today.


Home / Scholarship / 'my life and the transition' - A&M Personal Essay - Scholarship Application
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳