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'I like famous Vince Lombardi quote about leaders' - Answers to Chevening scholarship questions


Medgat 1 / -  
Nov 2, 2015   #1
I like famous quote of Vince Lombardi, "Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile." And it's true. Anyone, no matter what the source data did not possess, can become a leader and achieve success.

Becoming a chosen one among of over 44,000 outstanding world leaders - Chevening Alumni, is a big dream of many applicants of this prestigious program. Therefore, it's not a secret that I would like to become a Chevening scholar and for that I have all necessary skills, professional experience and the leadership potential to lead and influence people in my country.

Since I bring more than 12 years of local and international experience in public-private partnerships, government and private sector consulting I am a permanent advisor and consultant at the Kazakhstan Association of Entrepreneurs "KAZKA", at the Almaty Business Association, Association of Entrepreneurs of South Kazakhstan and Karaganda Business Association, where my main role is to give consultations to local entrepreneurs.

At my current job I am on a regular basis participate at various thematic events like conferences and forums related to energy, investment and public-private partnerships issues. For instance, in May of this year I have organized two panel sessions within the Astana Economic Forum related to EXPO-2017, where I invited Prof. Yelena Kalyuzhnova from the University of Reading to be a moderator in one of our session. Later in August I have participated as a speaker at the workshop "Promotion of Clean Energy in Resource-Rich Countries: Case Study of Kazakhstan", which was organized by the University of Reading with support of the Newton-Al-Farabi Partnership Programme, British Council. The outcome of that workshop was the proposals for the Astana EXPO-2017; I was one of judges in committee and I encouraged academic scholars both from UK and Kazakhstan to provide their practical recommendations for EXPO-2017. Six teams were drafted Development Proposals showcasing the policies that their fictional country adopts to address the six Key Conceptual Challenges of the Exhibition: 1. Promoting renewable energy and other energy alternatives; 2. Energy efficiency and responsible consumption; 3. Electrification of transport; 4. Universal access to clean energy 5. Energy Security; 6. The inseparability of energy and matter, life and human beings in the context of the Environmental Challenges.

Furthermore, from last year as a visiting lecturer I have started to deliver module on Strategic Management and Business Policy for an Executive MBA students both at KIMEP University and at Business School of Kazakh Humanities and Law University (KAZGUU). Hence, upon returning home I will speak and write about my Chevening experience as widely as possible and I will support the Chevening Program in my country through other various activities. I would like to summarize my vision with the next quote: "Leadership isn't about position; it's about behavior." (James Kouzes and Barry Posner).
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Nov 2, 2015   #2
Medgat, your first two paragraphs, the quote and then your mentioning your desire to become a Chevening scholar are really useless in the essay. You could really save yourself a lot of word count by simple going to direct to your discussion about your leadership abilities. It is important to always center upon the actual prompt discussion and avoid discussing unrelated or fluff topics in an essay of this importance. Those only serve as distractions for the reviewer. Just start off the paragraph with the description of your 12 years of work experience. That is more than enough to reel in the reviewer with regards to reading your essay.

Let me show you how to better edit that particular portion for content and grammar issues:

At my current job I am on a regular basis I REGULARLY participate at IN various thematic events like conferences and forums
For instance, in May of this year I have organized two panel sessions
Prof. Yelena Kalyuzhnova from the University of Reading to be a moderator in AT one of our sessionS. Later i In August I have participated as a speaker at the workshop "Promotion of Clean Energy in Resource-Rich Countries: Case Study of Kazakhstan", which was organized by the University of Reading with THE support of the Newton-Al-Farabi Partnership Programme, British Council. The outcome of that workshop was WERE the proposals for the Astana EXPO-2017; I was one of judges in committee ...

COMMENT: THE KEY CHALLENGES DO NOT HELP TO PROVE YOUR LEADERSHIP AND INFLUENCING ABILITIES SO IT SHOULD NOT BE MENTIONED

Furthermore, from last year , I WAS as a visiting lecturer I have started to WHO deliverED THE module on Strategic Management and Business Policy for an Executive MBA students both at KIMEP University and at Business School of Kazakh Humanities and Law University (KAZGUU). Hence, upon returning home...

COMMENT: THE LAST SENTENCES ARE NOT NECESSARY AT THEY ONLY REFER TO A SUMMARY OF NON-LEADERSHIP ROLES FOR YOU.


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